Struggling with my studies

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by BelleFixer, Jun 26, 2018.

  1. BelleFixer

    Thread Starter Member

    Jul 21, 2016
    I have been struggling with my studies since my dad died from an accident. I will never forget that day, I never thought that would be the last day I can see him. I have no room for happiness anymore and I feel that life is so unfair. How can I continue school when the only inspiration I have is gone.
  2. joeyd999

    AAC Fanatic!

    Jun 6, 2011
    Honor him by completing (and excelling at) your studies.
    Sinus23, Reloadron, simozz and 7 others like this.
  3. jaredwolff


    Jul 1, 2017
    There are tons of times I had low points at school. I didn't want to continue and was depressed. I couldn't find meaning in the work. I got through the days that that I wanted to quit by pushing me further into my coursework. It sucked, no doubt, but you do have the ability to pull through.

    Resiliency == Completing what you started == Success (in the long run)

    You may not see the end of the tunnel now, but I definitely encourage you to keep going despite these setbacks.
    Sinus23, absf and cmartinez like this.
  4. cmartinez

    AAC Fanatic!

    Jan 17, 2007
    I'm with Joey on this one ... I too, have been brokenhearted before. My dad passed away when I was 27, a few months before I got married. Fortunately, I had already finished my studies and was financially independent.

    Think of your dad as if he were still be with you today (and in a way, he is). What would he tell you? I'm sure he'd encourage you to persevere and make him proud.

    God bless.
    Sinus23, jaredwolff and JohnInTX like this.
  5. dl324

    AAC Fanatic!

    Mar 30, 2015
    It may feel like there's no point in continuing now, but time really will lessen the hurt and feelings of loss and hopelessness.

    I speak from experience. Both of my parents died when I was a teen. It seemed like the end of the world and I'd never be happy again, but that wasn't the case.

    I think of my Parents often and strive to live my life in a way that would make them proud.

    If you're feeling lost and depressed, seek the advice of a professional counselor. When I was orphaned, it was a different time, no one considered that children might need help coping with their grief. Now it's routine for children, and adults, to be advised to seek professional help to deal with their loss.
  6. WBahn


    Mar 31, 2012
    You need to find a new inspiration -- perhaps honoring his memory and dreams for you is a good place to start that search.

    Seek professional counseling if you need to and can.

    Realize that not continuing school right this moment is not a failure. If you need to step away and deal with the loss, school will be there when you are ready for it.

    My mom died just a couple weeks before I started college. That, combined with an unbelievable amount of other changes in my life, created stress that I wasn't aware of and therefore didn't know how to deal with. I ended up dropping out of school shortly before the end of my third semester, losing a full-ride scholarship as a consequence as well as getting involuntarily called to active military duty for two years as a result. That probably turned out to be the best thing that could have happened, because while taking the Student Leader course in Tech School I learned about how change, good and bad, causes stress and was finally able to realize where so much of my mild depression stemmed from and, with that awareness, was able to step back, process it, and move on.
    Sinus23, absf, JoeJester and 2 others like this.
  7. wayneh


    Sep 9, 2010
    Like you and many others, I had times of despair in college and I lost my dad at a young age, although at age 24, not while I was in school. I can't imagine having both together at the same time.

    There's not a lot I can tell you except that it will pass. That's the secret that us old guys know, and that I desperately wish I knew at your age. You will survive this and likely have a long happy life. You'll be OK, and maybe even a little better off in some ways for having been tested. Your job in the meanwhile is to stay strong enough to get out the other side of the dark tunnel you're in today. You know what to do: Sleep enough, Eat right, and Exercise regularly. S.E.E. sleep, eat, exercise. Get outside and get sun on your face and fresh air in your lungs. These may not be sufficient to ensure happiness but they are necessary conditions. Treating yourself with care will strengthen you and increase your odds of putting this all behind you.

    I miss my dad frequently but I've now lived more than half my life without him. Don't think for a minute that you'll ever get over the loss. You don't, but you keep going anyway. It's what the previous generation wants of us, to go on. When it's our turn as parents with children, we absorb their sorrows until they, too, must go on without us.
    Sinus23 and absf like this.
  8. BR-549

    AAC Fanatic!

    Sep 22, 2013
    I have lost and grieved for loved ones......but I don't believe death is the end of existence. But it is a forced separation.

    Grief is normal and now, self doubt too. But you should continue your normal routine for at least 90 days.....before making a decision.
    absf and cmartinez like this.
  9. BelleFixer

    Thread Starter Member

    Jul 21, 2016
    I am overwhelmed with all your sympathy, and this inspires me and now I know I'm not the only who has been through with the same situation. As you suggested, online counseling is a great idea.
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2018
    cmartinez and absf like this.
  10. Reloadron

    Distinguished Member

    Jan 15, 2015
    That's how. You don't get to choose the cards life deals you but you do get to play those cards. Your father will live on in your heart forever. How you play your hand now will determine your future.

    DickCappels likes this.
  11. Glenn Holland

    Active Member

    Dec 26, 2014
    Welcome to the club!!! :)

    I come form a completely destroyed family and emotionally, I've been more or less on my own since I was a teenager. I humorously call myself a graduate of "The School Of Hard Knocks" with a PhD. in dysfunctional relationships. I can't recall any relationship (family or workplace) that didn't turn sour as year old milk and I'm convinced I've got a magnet in my pocket for connecting with troubled people. :(

    I could post all the relationships I've had that turned to Do Do, but that would cause the AAC server to run out of storage space and tie up the internet while loading the page. o_O

    However the fact that I'm a tech geek with a lot of ambition also provided a lot of self help therapy and I have always been looking forward to something with a lot of challenge and the possibility of a reward. :cool:

    Finally, good luck with your emotional problems. :)
  12. BelleFixer

    Thread Starter Member

    Jul 21, 2016
    Thank you for sharing your life lessons and stories. I will try to make the life challenges as my strength and learn to live by it,