Strantor's quick thinking saves the day (almost)

Thread Starter

strantor

Joined Oct 3, 2010
6,782
So about half an hour ago I was laying in bed not sleeping (insomnia) and I heard a crash on my back porch outside my sliding glass door (right next to my bed). Sounded like breaking ceramic or something. In a flash I knew exactly what it was. The only things on my porch are a go cart chassis, some grapefruits, a plastic bucket, and a flower pot. I put the scenario together in my head; someone had entered my back yard, came around the corner on their way around to my sliding glass door and had stumbled over my flower pot. I came up with the plan as I was executing it. Right now we are about .5 seconds into the story; the rest of the story takes place over a span of maybe 1 second. In one (maybe 2) fluid movement I cast off my wife (she woke at the sound) who was clutching me, trying to keep me in bed for some reason, leaped from the bed to the door, yanked open the blinds an turned the porch light on. The plan was to come face to face with the guy & take a mental picture so I would have a description for the police if for some reason he made it out of my backyard alive. Step 2 was to leap across the room and retrieve the gun. I didn't make it to step 2. I came face to face with a giant 'possum. He must have been 20lbs. I forgot I had left a coffee cup out there this morning sitting on the bucket and he pulled it over trying to get his paws on some sweets. He locked eyes with me for a split second and he must have seen "beast mode" in my eyes; he took off like a rocket. I was wound up for while, maybe 15 minutes before my heartbeat came back down to a reasonable level. smoked a cigarette and then shared the story with you guys.
 

Wendy

Joined Mar 24, 2008
23,415
My brother had a similar thing happen 30 years ago, the critter was after dog food. Opossums will fight if they think they can get you to back off, but unfortunately for this one my bro kept a shotgun inside the door. Country living means having something handy for personal protection.
 

Adjuster

Joined Dec 26, 2010
2,148
I am afraid that having to live with this level of tension and vigilance may be unhealthy, especially in the long term. No doubt it may be very difficult to improve the security of your situation, but you should aim to do this as soon as you can, especially if you have children. Even if nothing worse happens, seeing their father having to jump to it with a gun at every noise in the night can't be good for them.

More immediately, look after your health: this kind of stress makes a bad combination with overweight and particularly tobacco. Tempting as it may be to light up after a stressful event like that, it is very bad for you.

Perhaps saying this won't have any good effect: I received such warnings as a younger man, and ignored them. This isn't just theory though: as a result of smoking etc. I'm now in chronic ill health and unlikely to live very long. Remember that the money saved from smoking could be put towards your security.
 

jimkeith

Joined Oct 26, 2011
540
Sounds like one of the first scenes of FELON where a typical Joe bashed the brains of an intruder with a baseball bat--based upon a true story--I have corresponded with Jay Wilcox who is a lifer that spent hard time at the SHU in the same prison: California State Prison, Corcoran).

Lucky it was only a 'possum as the present (in)justice system would have charged you with first degree murder, discharging a firearm within 500' of a dwelling, reckless endangerment of children and of course indecent exposure...

Could have been worse--how about a skunk?
 

Wendy

Joined Mar 24, 2008
23,415
Texas is a Stand Your Ground state. If it had been a human intruder he is allowed to defend yourself with deadly force. Oklahoma calls it Defend your Castle, I'm sure Florida has something similar. You get into a few of the east coast states this is not the case, it is very similar to Britain in many respects.

I would not want to live in a state that required me to flee my home in the case of an intruder. A person breaking into my home should be the one that is afraid.
 
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Thread Starter

strantor

Joined Oct 3, 2010
6,782
Next time, consider that this should be step 1. If it were a real burgler, you might not have survived to execute step 2.
good idea. Actually this has prompted me to give a little though to contingency plans in general. Fire, intruder, natural disaster, etc. It is best to have plans already establish rather than try to 'wiing it' when something goes wrong.
 

Brownout

Joined Jan 10, 2012
2,390
My brother had a similar thing happen 30 years ago, the critter was after dog food. Opossums will fight if they think they can get you to back off, but unfortunately for this one my bro kept a shotgun inside the door. Country living means having something handy for personal protection.

Opossums are more snarl than bite. I've just thrown a blanket over them and took this out into the woods. Firing a shotgun at them seems reckless to me.
 

Wendy

Joined Mar 24, 2008
23,415
Opossums are more snarl than bite. I've just thrown a blanket over them and took this out into the woods. Firing a shotgun at them seems reckless to me.
Easy to say when it isn't you. They are not small, getting as big as 50 pounds and do have a nice set of dentures.

An Opossum is native to the USA. As far as I know they are the only North American marsupial. While similar to OZ possums, they are not the same animal.

Another interesting fact, when they play dead they have actually fainted. They also excrete a foul odor, as they can easily be killed while they are unconscious.
 

Brownout

Joined Jan 10, 2012
2,390
Bill_Marsden said:
Easy to say when it isn't you.
I guess you didn't read my post. I said I've used a blanket to relocate them. Where I live, having wildlife on my property is nearly a daily occurence. Opossum is nealy the most docile wild animal you'll ever come across. They will snarl, but when that doensn't work, they will act dead or injured. I routinely have to remove a Opossum carcase form my property that is killed by other wildlife or remove them from the road in front of my house. Grizzly stuff. On occasion, I have to remove live ones from my garage or patio. But I never find the need for gunplay.
 

Wendy

Joined Mar 24, 2008
23,415
I will have to agree to disagree, it may be a bluff, but I am not willing to try it out. I have had opossums challenge me for the right of the ground I stand on. When this happens the results are tragic, for the opossum. If they were docile there would not be a problem between them and I.

I did have one try to move into my garage when I was moving into the house in suburbia. I had kids at the time, and they had super soakers, I filled it with hot water from the tap, and every time he tried to turn to challenge me I hosed it down. Took several times to convince the critter it was outgunned, but it got the idea.

I spent the latter part of my teen hood being raised in the country. I had a chicken coop I protected, and got into a shooting contest with a skunk. We both lost, but the skunk came out worse than me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opossum
 

Brownout

Joined Jan 10, 2012
2,390
I am always amused at people who want to live in the country, then shoot at everthing that moves. I have neighbors who are always shooting at wildlife. Some day, they are gonna end up shooting the wrong thing and have a real problem. It's happened before. When I was a kid, we'd shoot everything and anything. My grand-ma's excuse was that wild animals would dig up the garden, etc. I find there are much better ways to protect my property than trying to kill every animal in the state. The problem I have with guns in the country is they can be an excuse for not finding better or more creative ways to live with nature. I don't even own a gun, and I have never felt threatened. Well, sometimes skunks are a nusiance, but I don't think I'd even shoot them if I had the opportunity. A friend of mine shot one in his house with a 12-Ga shotgun. What a mess! He'd been better off finding an alternative method.
 

Thread Starter

strantor

Joined Oct 3, 2010
6,782
I never said I had any intention of shooting the possum. He had no intention of gaining illegal entry into my house either. I agree they will stand their ground; I have tangled with them before. This one did not; he made a hasty retreat. I don't blame him.
 

Brownout

Joined Jan 10, 2012
2,390
^- I don't think anyone believes you intended to shoot the possum. Funny when I hear something at night, I assume it's some animal trying to get a free meal. If a human tried to beak in, I'd probably think it was a possum, and go out with a broom or something.
 

Thread Starter

strantor

Joined Oct 3, 2010
6,782
I used to live in the country and if i still did, i would not have freaked out about a noise like that. But I don't live in the country any more. The only animals I have seen since living here are squirrels; before learning there was a neighborhood 'possum on the loose, I would have said that noise like that coming from my locked backyard would in all probability have come from a human.
 

Adjuster

Joined Dec 26, 2010
2,148
The town I live in is full of foxes. They are a considerable nuisance, scavenging from dustbins and making horrible noises, especially at night. So far, no-one seems to have tried shooting any*, but then guns are less common round here.

Occasionally they have been known to attack humans, though it is very unusual. What is more common is for them to leave extremely smelly droppings around the place. One day I was in a hurry to get to work. Out of the house, into the car... Oh dear!

Like many Brits I drive what Americans often call a stick-shift vehicle. That means one more pedal to clean the wretched stuff off.

*I live in the Greater London suburbs: in country areas shotguns would be more common, and foxes could well get shot.
 

Thread Starter

strantor

Joined Oct 3, 2010
6,782
I've only ever seen a few foxes, but when I lived in the country we had a problem with coyotes. The fish & game people would give you 5$ per head for killing them. Just bring the carcasses to the country store & the owner would spray them with orange paint & pay you for each one. Then the game warden would come to the store once in a while and pick up the carcasses and pay the owner.
 
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