- Joined Oct 3, 2010
So about half an hour ago I was laying in bed not sleeping (insomnia) and I heard a crash on my back porch outside my sliding glass door (right next to my bed). Sounded like breaking ceramic or something. In a flash I knew exactly what it was. The only things on my porch are a go cart chassis, some grapefruits, a plastic bucket, and a flower pot. I put the scenario together in my head; someone had entered my back yard, came around the corner on their way around to my sliding glass door and had stumbled over my flower pot. I came up with the plan as I was executing it. Right now we are about .5 seconds into the story; the rest of the story takes place over a span of maybe 1 second. In one (maybe 2) fluid movement I cast off my wife (she woke at the sound) who was clutching me, trying to keep me in bed for some reason, leaped from the bed to the door, yanked open the blinds an turned the porch light on. The plan was to come face to face with the guy & take a mental picture so I would have a description for the police if for some reason he made it out of my backyard alive. Step 2 was to leap across the room and retrieve the gun. I didn't make it to step 2. I came face to face with a giant 'possum. He must have been 20lbs. I forgot I had left a coffee cup out there this morning sitting on the bucket and he pulled it over trying to get his paws on some sweets. He locked eyes with me for a split second and he must have seen "beast mode" in my eyes; he took off like a rocket. I was wound up for while, maybe 15 minutes before my heartbeat came back down to a reasonable level. smoked a cigarette and then shared the story with you guys.