I know it's not just current or voltage, but also the duration of the shock. It's not that I think a capacitive discharge or other shock will be fatal if it is above a certain number of milliamps, even if it's very short. I know it depends on where exactly it is applied, and other factors.Just my own thoughts on this, and nothing malicious meant.
You seem to have a very different out look on electricity/electronics than me. All of your warnings on "arc flash" and similar things in other threads, leads me to believe this way. Like some one who reads things online and tries to apply that to every thing they respond to. Worrying about the number of milliamps going through the body also seems like this. How exactly will the amps go through the body in this project? How do both side of the circuit get connected to the body when this "lighter" is in use? Will a single side give a shock, probably, but is it going to be "lethal"? Very doubtful.
Getting shocked when working on a car engine from the ignition system happens. And to my knowledge no one has died from that. And that ignition system has way more voltage and amps that what your talking about. And it, the ignition system, even with much more power and voltage would be hard pressed to start a stick on fire like you seem to think your "lighter" will.
Do these off the shelf lighter light a cigarette, yes, would they light a stick on fire, doubtful. Do you even own one of the off the shelf lighters? If not, how do you know they will do what you think they will?
I know a stick is very hard to light on fire, but I could at least use it to ignite paper or something similar. That should be able to get a campfire going. And if I made it more powerful than commercial options, it should have a decent chance of igniting something thicker.
So could you recommend a good VCO that allows for a decent frequency range and is fairly simple? Or do you think a standalone ATmega 328p might be better suited to getting CC or even constant power through a coil? I do have a few spare ATmegas. Unless you really think it is too dangerous, and that you would be helping me to do something that is so harmful, could you please help me with the circuit?