When I volunteered for Red Cross Disaster Services in Boston, one of our most common call outs was to house fires. Usually they were apartment buildings. We would assist BFD by rounding up the victims, keeping them warm if necessary, and providing financial assistance in the form of vouchers worth a couple of hundred dollars to replace clothing and personal items if the fire had damaged or destroyed theirs.

Many times, the person would be reluctant to accept the help, “it’s OK I have money in the bank and job”. I would point out they’d just lost everything and ask them to consider how far the money they had would go. Almost always, it was sobering and they accepted the small help I could offer.

But many, you could see, felt pained by accepting it. They didn’t think they needed that help, they weren’t poor, they didn’t accept public assistance, etc. What I wanted to do is tell them, “while there is no requirement, there is nothing stopping you from donating a similar or even greater amount once you are on your feet again. There is nothing stopping you from volunteering, like we do, to help others”.

But I was prevented by policy. We just had to say “you are welcome to the help, that’s why we are here”—which was completely true.

Today, I was thinking about this in relation to AAC and similar venues. If we didn’t get something from helping even the most difficult of TSs, we wouldn’t do it. After all, nothing compels us. But, that idea of paying forward, of helping others as you’ve been helped, I think seeing that happen is one of the most satisfying parts of this kind of thing.

When a neophyte joins a group like this, and gets help, and then seeing how things go stays and learns, and becomes a help to others according to their growing ability it’s heartening. I think it’s worth encouraging this by reminding people who go out of their way to thank helpers for the help that they can pay it forward by staying around and helping people based on what they have learned. Sometimes, it “takes”.

 

I have come around to understanding this and have been practicing the "gift economy" ever since.

I have been inspired by Charles Eisenstein's "Sacred Economics"

 

I remember a particularly bad winter where I ended up in the ditch twice on a 2000 mile trip. The second time, a guy stopped and offered to try to pull me out. Afterwards, I asked him if I could pay him. He said no; just help someone else who needs help. I was able to help someone later during that trip and have been paying it forward ever since. If I see someone stuck in the snow, I get out and try to help.

Sometimes people will see me struggling to help someone (me - older, small guy with a bad back) and will give me a hand.

One time, I saw a deputy trying to give directions to a clueless driver to help him get back on the road (it snowed and this guy had bald highway treads and a couple of passengers). He had no idea how to drive in the snow and I was about to tell him to let me drive it out when others came to help. The deputy wouldn't touch the car; maybe they have instructions not to do it because they could get hurt. His passengers were fed up and got out of the car.

 

Today, I was thinking about this in relation to AAC and similar venues. If we didn’t get something from helping even the most difficult of TSs, we wouldn’t do it. After all, nothing compels us. But, that idea of paying forward, of helping others as you’ve been helped, I think seeing that happen is one of the most satisfying parts of this kind of thing.

When a neophyte joins a group like this, and gets help, and then seeing how things go stays and learns, and becomes a help to others according to their growing ability it’s heartening. I think it’s worth encouraging this by reminding people who go out of their way to thank helpers for the help that they can pay it forward by staying around and helping people based on what they have learned. Sometimes, it “takes”.

And then there are the forum members that you try to help but they refuse to learn. Yes indeed we should try to help when we can but there also needs to come a point when people at least make an effort to stand on their own two feet.

 

I always seem to be the guy that goes out of his way to hep others. The strange thing is I seem to be like I have Saint Anthony (finder of lost things) sitting on my shoulder. I am always finding people's stuff. Much of it probably has to do with how much cycling I do. I am always finding things out riding but have found things out walking too.

People usually want to pay me but I never accept. I am happy with a than you. Except one guy actually seemed angry that I found his phone. Not sure if it was because I could not return it immediately. I returned it within a few hours of calling him which was also a real effort finding someone on his phone that knew his number! Or maybe it was if I had left it where I found it and he actually found it himself he would not have had to wait for me to give him his phone. Either way he was an idiot but I am not going to let that keep me from helping.

Only once do I remember a payback. And believe it or not it is with something I lost. And yes I was out on a bike ride again and lost my keys. Thankfully I had a spare as I drove way north for the ride. I though the keys were gone for good. A few days later I got a package in the mail. It was my keys. A note with no return address telling me they tracked me through a grocery membership card on the keys.

I did accept a reward once. Found a wallet with no ID and a pretty good amount of money. But it has some business card I called the number and as I recall it was another real effort to figure out the actual owner. I finally got in touch with the guy. He was a fellow cyclist. He took me out to lunch when I returned the wallet.

 

He took me out to lunch when I returned the wallet.

Lunch is a pretty good way of paying such a favor. And it's not about the meal, but about the chance to know a new, interesting person.

 

Paying back, paying forward, I figure it's all pretty much the same: doing something for somebody.

 

Lunch is a pretty good way of paying such a favor. And it's not about the meal, but about the chance to know a new, interesting person.

That is what I figured. We had something in common so it was kind of interesting. Wen to my favorite sandwich shop too. Well second favorite but my favorite is well out of town.

 

Paying back, paying forward, I figure it's all pretty much the same: doing something for somebody.

That is what I figured. We had somethin in common so it was kind of interesting. Wen to my favorite sandwich shop too. Well second favorite but my favorite is well out of town.

... not to sound too materialistic, but I like to call it "spiritual economics" ...

 

I was an Eagle Scout and the “Scouting BSA”* program always taught these principles. So, I still pay it forward. Help apartment neighbors carry in groceries when I can. Dig out someone's car after a snowstorm. Let people in front of me in a line. Get items from the top shelf in a store. Or even, buy a cup of coffee or a burger for a homeless person.

It helps me feel like I contribute to the world.

* I asterisked the name, because it was changed after the decision for girls to become Scoutd.

 

I was an Eagle Scout and the “Scouting BSA”* program always taught these principles. So, I still pay it forward. Help apartment neighbors carry in groceries when I can. Dig out someone's car after a snowstorm. Let people in front of me in a line. Get items from the top shelf in a store. Or even, buy a cup of coffee or a burger for a homeless person.

It helps me feel like I contribute to the world.

* I asterisked the name, because it was changed after the decision for girls to become Scoutd.

I was never much into Scouts, but in the 60s I had a brief stint in the Webelos. I still have the manual and the progressive values of tolerance and inclusion in the section on religion are really something.

When my wife and I grew up, there was a lot of messaging to kids about tolerance, ecology, smoking, and the like. I think it really did shape our generation and make bigger thinking possible.

 

I was never much into Scouts

I wasn't either.

My Son was in Tiger Cubs for a year and he (and we) determined it wasn't for him either. Some of the other Tiger Cubs were dishonest and claimed they won races in a pinewood derby that my Son won. He tried to tell the scout master and he didn't care. At the meetings with members from all levels, many of the (badge/pin) awards were a joke. They even gave them to the parents.

Maybe it depends on who the scout master and management are...

 

I wasn't either.

My Son was in Tiger Cubs for a year and he (and we) determined it wasn't for him either. Some of the other Tiger Cubs were dishonest and claimed they won races in a pinewood derby that my Son won. He tried to tell the scout master and he didn't care. At the meetings with members from all levels, many of the (badge/pin) awards were a joke. They even gave them to the parents.

Maybe it depends on who the scout master and management are...

It certainly does. A colleague was the Scoutmasters for his son’s Cub Scout troop and you couldn’t have asked for a more honest and forthright person for that role.

 

I was the cub master. I pride myself in my honesty, although at times it might be a liability.

Pinewood Derby can be difficult. Although the cubs are supposed to build their own car, adult help is allowed. Some Dad’s then take it too seriously. I built a timed electronic track which helped remove some conflicts.

 

Pinewood Derby can be difficult. Although the cubs are supposed to build their own car, adult help is allowed. Some Dad’s then take it too seriously. I built a timed electronic track which helped remove some conflicts.

Clueless helpers and a scout master who couldn't care less in our case. In races my Son won (I made sure he did most of the work because it was his project, not mine), kids would jump up and down and said they won. What made me mad was that the scout master didn't care. Raising the issue with the scout master was my Son's idea. I would have let it slide, but he felt like they were cheating and sought out the scout master on his own. He left his "discussion" crying.