Most of my friends were friends from class 9 and 10. The one that I am talking about was student who wanted to be my friend in class 9 and I being huge huge asperger's syndrome guy, rejected that opportunity. He topped our school. Topped the entrance exam to reputed university(he wasn't that good back then). In hindsight, I missed a great opportunity. Not only I missed great opportunity, I wasted that time writing articles for newspapers to earn money...WTF...

Then I was good in class 10, 11 and 12...Then again my 3 year cycle hit me back and I am back to normal..Greed. I started an idiotic website to generate free money. Haha, I absolutely cringe at that...I wasted lots of my valuable time in that nonsense. What I made maybe 150$ working almost 24*7 hrs. It was just an idiotic wordpress website . I didn't even learn to code, I cringe that time many times today. I am far above from daily ruminating that missed opportunity.

I realised this. When you are 1month from your mistake, you remember that mistake heavily and feel like(garden pathed LOL-studying NLP so some flexing of terms...lol) in believing that you can still change stuffs. This continues for 1 year. After that you are like suck it up...let it be and move on automatically.
My mistake of writing blog to earn free money(i genuinely cringe at this) lasted almost 2.5 years..I studied only few semesters very few semester that I am shamed to talk about in university..I learnt nth, was full of idiotic guy..Nothing for future...
Now what I regret was wasting about 3 years of my educational journey...where I was misguided to believe stuffs that (honestly I am feeling so ashamed when I am writing all thes, this is cringe..)..."college entrpeneruship...job in college...earn money online...bill gates is a droupout...lol these things attracted me.
I used to believe that getting a good gpa means nth..If you get good gpa you might never get a job. HAHA. what an idiot...luuul..
And bullsh**s like this and that...

Now I see my friends, progressing and doing stuffs, while I will take still at least 3 years to be stable and start looking for jobs. What I need to do in those 3 years is to read those 20+ core engineering subjects properly somehow(IDK How) and learn and learn...then I can be called a college graduate..

I haven't failed any courses(not much) but my issues are-:

1) I didn't make proper notes of what I was taught in college. Acadmia.stackexchange buffy says that hipster pda thing. That opened my mind. God damn such a simple thing to make your life so much easier...I have been making such of around 10 subjects now...Regret not doing it earlier...What would I do, I would never study lol

Also some problem is my country as well. I will tell you unbelievable facts, our course is designed looking at indian universities books(or maybe syllabus)..but problem is indian books are not many available in nepal..stationary shops near our college and main stationary shop didn't use to keep those books, so I wasn't even aware of those that they were there..later I knew in last of 4th year Ist part that those exist..Had I been aware earlier, I am damn sure, I would have realised that and it would have made my studies far easier as it did(those indian authored books have numericals and numericals are what are asked in our exams, but we have 0 reference books in nepal for engineering, the ones we have is called system inception probably the worst book i have ever seen in my life, and it is copied from all those indian authored books totally.)

PS took me a time to realise forums exists like reddit and stuffs..I used to be confuse too much...Now don't get me wrong, most forums don't have answer for my questions lol may be idk why maybe i ask bad qns...thats why...but when i ask question to others, i realise what i am not understanding and if necessary i learn it (try to. for at least 24 hrs..) if not necessary, i try for 1-2 hrs and leave it if i can't learn it.


That's it rant ends..

My question-:

1) How do I manage to study those 20+ core CSE subjects that I missed in my college life?

2) I also want to study in USA for my masters and(honestly idk how they do it but every student from nepal goes to usa and never returns, i heard it is illegal to stay in usa after graduation....that is what yahoo answers told me...[i used to use that site till it was closed]..but 40000$ is too much (this is probably minimum cost of masters in usa)..

while my father has property worth 50000$, i don't want to get that route as it will create pressure on me. i want to do it self sufficiently but it looks tough...is there any road that you can see here?

 

I think an internet forum is the wrong place to get the kind of counseling you need.

Bob

 

I think an internet forum is the wrong place to get the kind of counseling you need.

Bob

Hmm I don't need counselling tbh. If you are talking about psychological one..I am already taking that that's why I can speak about it. Academic counselling maybe I need someone...But help from online forums won't be bad.

 

The questions you are asking here are indeed a request for counseling. That is what I was referring to. When you ask for free help, you get what you pay for. Can you find a mentor among your teachers?

Bob

 

If it looks too good to be true, it probably is. You might want to take a step back and ask yourself what you really want. The answer might surprise you.

 

The questions you are asking here are indeed a request for counseling. That is what I was referring to. When you ask for free help, you get what you pay for. Can you find a mentor among your teachers?

Bob

all teachers are like s**t. i agree we should pay and surely would pay but don't know anyone who to pay and how much to pay. I don't think there is academic counsellor in our university/college. There is one psychological counsellor. It is even bad than asking in forums lol. Teachers of Nepal aren't that great. The general system is that when you can't go abroad to us, when you can't get a job in private company, and when you can't get a job in government job, you become a teacher. still being a teacher afaik reaquires high gpa, but they all teach like s**t. I am afraid they might not help me. Also it is very cringe to talk all of this to people who you know haha. so i don't think there area academic counsellors in nepal...

 

If it looks too good to be true, it probably is. You might want to take a step back and ask yourself what you really want. The answer might surprise you.

I didn't get the first part. what looks too good to be true, i t is probably is? My friends life? What I want is simple. Education...more education and research is too good to be true dream but getting a job in good company and working.. that is what I want. I valued education more after I fussed up in college for 3 years..

 

He was referring to your Facebook friends. Everyone shows only the good part of their lives on facebook.

Bob

 

"friends who are rocking in life as seen in facebook" depicts an altered reality that may or may not have a basis in fact. It is all part of a great propaganda machine designed to make you feel inferior if you are not participating. They tell you what to feel good about, they tell you why you should feel inferior; do you really think it is an accurate picture of reality? To think so would be a bit delusional IMHO. What you see there is mostly fatuous twaddle.

 

"friends who are rocking in life as seen in facebook" depicts an altered reality that may or may not have a basis in fact. It is all part of a great propaganda machine designed to make you feel inferior if you are not participating. They tell you what to feel good about, they tell you why you should feel inferior; do you really think it is an accurate picture of reality? To think so would be a bit delusional IMHO. What you see there is mostly fatuous twaddle.

I see. But they are joining great unis, doing many internships, fellowships(not everyone gets to do it, only selected students as you know I am out of league ). I am afraid what will I tell my parents for 3 years, which I will take to read all those stuffs taught in college. My parents are understanding and they already tell me that I am 5 years late than others..and won't mind that..but relatives are pain in a**...I don't go out that much but they are what we call "kschusi" meaning a**hole who asks about things you don't need to ask..
Sometimes I get confident lol that even I don't do anything I will be fine. My parents know this and tell me this to make me confident haha that even if you don't do anything in life, it's alright..but that is not alright for me.

You learn the value of stuffs once they are away from you. For 15 years, I was consistenly a topper and never realised mys worth...But once I f***ed up, then realised stuffs...how valuable studies are irl. They are made for a reason. Brainwashing is really easy when you are 18-19.

And too add salt to the wound(to make wound even worse), most of those either unfriend me or don't accept my friend request.. Ouch..I haven't done anything to them tho.

 

I think your expectations of what you should be doing are being distorted by the ways that other people are achieving success.
Working for a big corporation is not the only way to be successful in life. It's time for you to reset your goals. The things you will be most successful at are the things that you enjoy doing the most. Start at the bottom and work towards the future making your passions your goals.
Many years ago, my father told me that I could achieve anything I wanted, if I wanted it badly enough. He was right. I did and I still do!

 

I think your expectations of what you should be doing are being distorted by the ways that other people are achieving success.
Working for a big corporation is not the only way to be successful in life. It's time for you to reset your goals. The things you will be most successful at are the things that you enjoy doing the most. Start at the bottom and work towards the future making your passions your goals.
Many years ago, my father told me that I could achieve anything I wanted, if I wanted it badly enough. He was right. I did and I still do!

My grandfather was an internationally recognized professor of economics at Princeton University, and the author of several books.
My father was an internationally recognized professor of Aerospace and Mechanical Sciences at Princeton University, and the author of several books.

I, on the other hand, did not go to Princeton University, never got a PhD, and I have written no books on any subject. I went to the University of Michigan, and spent most of my adult life in Ann Arbor. I had a successful life and career there, and I know that my father was proud of me because he explicitly said he was. I was able to do things that he found incredibly difficult, like single handedly writing complex software packages. My written legacy is the 17,500+ posts on this forum. All in all I feel like a success, even if the rest of the world has a different opinion. I'm sure the people who have me on their ignore lists have a different opinion, but that is on them.

My advice to the TS is to get your head out of the dark place it is in and focus on your own sense of self worth. IGNORE what your family and their friends think; you don't need that kind of toxicity in your life.

 

I think one big mistake you are making is trying to compare yourself with your friends and others.
To make it even worse is to use Facebook and social media for your information.

Instead, you should focus on your own desires. Be introspective and listen to your inner self. Think of what makes you happy.
Remember that the reward is in the journey, not the goal.

 

I think your expectations of what you should be doing are being distorted by the ways that other people are achieving success.
Working for a big corporation is not the only way to be successful in life. It's time for you to reset your goals. The things you will be most successful at are the things that you enjoy doing the most. Start at the bottom and work towards the future making your passions your goals.
Many years ago, my father told me that I could achieve anything I wanted, if I wanted it badly enough. He was right. I did and I still do!

Not really. My experience comes from the entrepeneurship experience I had. I found how hollow work it was actually. (That's just my expereince but still means a lot to me so)...I totally started valuing old school things after that, study get good grades, get job at big corporation etc, that meant success for me...rather than mining money in life as I found that it was valueless.

 

My grandfather was an internationally recognized professor of economics at Princeton University, and the author of several books.
My father was an internationally recognized professor of Aerospace and Mechanical Sciences at Princeton University, and the author of several books.

I, on the other hand, did not go to Princeton University, never got a PhD, and I have written no books on any subject. I went to the University of Michigan, and spent most of my adult life in Ann Arbor. I had a successful life and career there, and I know that my father was proud of me because he explicitly said he was. I was able to do things that he found incredibly difficult, like single handedly writing complex software packages. My written legacy is the 17,500+ posts on this forum. All in all I feel like a success, even if the rest of the world has a different opinion. I'm sure the people who have me on their ignore lists have a different opinion, but that is on them.

My advice to the TS is to get your head out of the dark place it is in and focus on your own sense of self worth. IGNORE what your family and their friends think; you don't need that kind of toxicity in your life.

Forgive my zeal..

 

Not really. My experience comes from the entrepeneurship experience I had. I found how hollow work it was actually. (That's just my expereince but still means a lot to me so)...I totally started valuing old school things after that, study get good grades, get job at big corporation etc, that meant success for me...rather than mining money in life as I found that it was valueless.

You may have read our replies but you didn't understand a word of them!
Working for a big corporation does not guarantee any kind of success.. What do you plan on doing for a living when you are working for the big corporation? That is what you should be focussing on.
Making money is not a valid goal. Being successful at what you do best will make money and happiness for you.
Comparing yourself to other people will never be really successful. All you see of other people is what they want you to see. You don't know what hardships or regrets they suffer from as they work as insignificant employees of a large corporation.