A SOUTHERNER MOVES NORTH ...

Monday: 5:00PM. It's starting to snow. The first of the season and the first one we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot buttered rums and sat by the picture window, watching the soft flakes drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was beautiful. So relaxing and peaceful.

Tuesday: We woke up to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the landscape. What a fantastic sight. Every tree and shrub covered with a beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years and loved it! I did both our driveway and our sidewalk. Later a city snowplow came along and accidentally covered up our driveway with snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and shoveled it again.

Wednesday: It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature dropped to around 11 degrees. Several limbs on the trees snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled our driveway again. Shortly afterwards the snowplow came by and did his trick again. I wonder about that guy. Why's he always smiling?

Thursday: Warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which turned to ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tires for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway. $145 for the emergency room visit but nothing was broken. More snow and ice expected.

Friday: Still cold. I sold my wife's car and bought a 4X4 in order to get her to work. Slid into a guardrail and did a considerable amount of damage to the right rear quarter panel. I had another 8 inches of white crap last night. Both vehicles were covered in salt and crud. More shoveling in store for me today. That damn snowplow came by twice today, smiling bastard.

Saturday: 2 degrees outside. More efing snow. Not a tree or shrub on the property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night and some pipes burst in the basement. Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene heater which tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put out the flames but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands and lost my eyebrows. The brand new 4X4 slid on the ice on way to the emergency room and was totaled.

Sunday: damn mother-efin' crap keeps coming down. Have to put on all the clothes we own just to get to the efin' mailbox. I think the son-of-a-bitch that drives the snowplow hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the street about 100MPH, grinning from ear to ear, and buries our driveway again. efin' asshole! If I ever catch him, I'll shove a cane pole up his ass and mount him in the front yard as a warning to the next snowplow driver! Power still off. The toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in.

Monday: Six goddamn more efin' inches of erin' snow and efin' ice and God knows what other kink of white efin' crap fell last night. My wife left me. The car won't start. I think I'm going snowblind. I can't move my toes. I haven't seen the sun in weeks. I wounded the efin' snowplow asshole with an ice ax but he got away. More efin' snow predicted. Wind chill minus 35 efin' degrees. I'm going back to Georgia!

*This* is why I live in Florida.

Well, that and taxes.

 

It snowed yesterday and all last night. The snowplow cleared my street this morning by putting its snow in everybody's driveway.

Well it's a logistics problem. When it snows we don't want snow on our roads so they plow the roads. When snow is plowed it needs to go somewhere as long as it's not on the center of the road. So the state, city, township or municipality Takes the snow and places it in a relocation program. They don't give it a new name or identity. they just relocate it to the end of your driveway. Now around here, if I decide to relocate the snow the city just placed across my driveway back to where it came from the city becomes very unhappy with my decision and issues me a summons and a fine. This really sucks. I figure the snow which falls through clearly an sct of God on my property should be my problem and the snow which falls on the property of the city is their snow. I don't want their snow anymore than they want my snow.

It's like a mass murderer. Jeffery Dahmer is a good example. Then locally to me we have Anthony Sowell. They both faced a logistics problem. When you continuously murder people you end up with bodies needing a place to put them. Just like when you have a pile of snow. It's a logistics problem.

Ron

 

It's only a logistics problem with real snow from God. The other 'fake' kind is designed to be disruptive to our lives.

 

Well it's a logistics problem. When it snows we don't want snow on our roads so they plow the roads. When snow is plowed it needs to go somewhere as long as it's not on the center of the road. So the state, city, township or municipality Takes the snow and places it in a relocation program. They don't give it a new name or identity. they just relocate it to the end of your driveway. Now around here, if I decide to relocate the snow the city just placed across my driveway back to where it came from the city becomes very unhappy with my decision and issues me a summons and a fine. This really sucks. I figure the snow which falls through clearly an sct of God on my property should be my problem and the snow which falls on the property of the city is their snow. I don't want their snow anymore than they want my snow.

It's like a mass murderer. Jeffery Dahmer is a good example. Then locally to me we have Anthony Sowell. They both faced a logistics problem. When you continuously murder people you end up with bodies needing a place to put them. Just like when you have a pile of snow. It's a logistics problem.

Ron

So, what happens if you get a Tim Taylor level of snow blower and blow your snow (plus the plowed street snow) onto your neighbors driveway?

 

So, what happens if you get a Tim Taylor level of snow blower and blow your snow (plus the plowed street snow) onto your neighbors driveway?

That shouldn't be a problem if you have an infinite array of neighbors ... that way the problem is reduced to the infamous Hilbert's paradox of the Grand Hotel.

 

So, what happens if you get a Tim Taylor level of snow blower and blow your snow (plus the plowed street snow) onto your neighbors driveway?

Then you have solved the logistics issue of getting rid of snow but as often the case with problem solving you have created a new problem. You have likely an unhappy neighbor and that assumes a nice neighbor. Now if the neighbor in question already dislikes you then you now have a real problem.

Ron

 

What fun is that? People in Portland love driving in snow.

Drunk people driver like that when there is no snow.

 

The list is long ... Long ... LONG ....

Abbreviations‌ in the aviation industry
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From Erika Armstrong's LinkedIn account:

Aviation communications use awful-sounding AM narrow band so that another communication can break-in and holler MAYDAY. The sound is so bad that they must spell many numbers and letters with words.

 

This mess is heading south.

 

This is how bad a lighting strike can drill a Boeing 787’s fuselage

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Aviation Maintenance shared a picture of the top fuselage of an American Airlines Dreamliner. The Boeing 787 experienced extensive damage to its composite fuselage crown when it was hit by lightning during flight. Summer is the season for thunderstorms, and sometimes lightning can strike an aircraft that is flying. However, a lightning strike on an aircraft is not dangerous, as aircraft are designed to withstand lightning strikes.

 

I miss the glory days when the bridge was lower.

 

*This* is why I live in Florida.

Well, that and taxes.

Living in the North, I’ve always considered this as a challenge and a way of proving my manhood. One of the few old timey challenges left, like bringing my family west in a wagon train.

Approaching 70, now not so much.

 

Living in the North, I’ve always considered this as a challenge and a way of proving my manhood. One of the few old timey challenges left, like bringing my family west in a wagon train.

Approaching 70, now not so much.

I prove my manhood every day by staring at bikini-clad blondes on the beach.

It not easy squeezing into a little Speedo, dammit, but somebody's got to do it!

 

Joey ... I salute you ...

 

Joey ... I salute you ...

I salute me, too.

It's amazing how attractive those young girls find me after I've had a few beers.

 

I salute me, too.

It's amazing how attractive those young girls find me after I've had a few beers.

 

After 9 Coronas.

Ron

 

LOOK MA, NO TAIL! FIND OUT HOW THIS B-52 STRATEGIC BOMBER LANDED SAFELY WITHOUT ITS TAIL FIN

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Test pilot Charles F. “Chuck” Fisher was able to land the damaged B-52 with only about 15% of its fin remaining

 

The B52 is a heck of an airplane. Back in 1972 while assigned to Danang, Vietnam the USAF was flying bombing raids to the north with flights originating in Thailand. One day we had a B52 with major SAM (Surface to Air Missile) damage come into Danang. While not as bad as the video the tail looked like Swiss cheese and one wing had heavy damage. That plane sat on the tarmac for 4 days and for four days we sustained constant rocket fire. Thet B52 would be a trophy for the VC. Finally with enough band aids and 6 of the 8 engines it flew out. We celebrated that day. There was a reason Danang was called rocket city but never saw as many incoming rockets as we did those 4 days. It wasn't unusual to see shot op fighters come in but a B52? Wild.

Ron

 

https://www.rgj.com/story/news/2023/02/24/lake-tahoe-snow-car-crash-videos-going-viral/69942417007/
Lake Tahoe snow car crash videos going viral