21st Commandment?

“Righty-tighty-lefty-loosey?” (As in, threads on a bolt?) (Excluding of course, lug bolts stamped with an “L” and the crazy nut on my meat slicer.)

joe

Shouldn't that be "crazy nut OPERATING my meat slicer"?

 

Shouldn't that be "crazy nut OPERATING my meat slicer"?

If only you knew...

joe

 

21st Commandment?

“Righty-tighty-lefty-loosey?” (As in, threads on a bolt?) (Excluding of course, lug bolts stamped with an “L” and the crazy nut on my meat slicer.)

joe

It's so it doesn't come undone by itself while you're using it, similar to how one pedal on a bicycle is usually attached by a left hand thread. Fuel gas threads are also usually left handed.

 

It's so it doesn't come undone by itself while you're using it, similar to how one pedal on a bicycle is usually attached by a left hand thread. Fuel gas threads are also usually left handed.

@Markd77

You’re absolutely correct. One of my ol’ girlfriends was left-handed, she never came undone while in use, (shopping/dining, etc.!) but ignore her for a single minute…


WOW!



joe

 

Salute to the Big MO.....Made in the Ozarks over night..................

 

Spinnaker I remember feeling so hopelessly alone years ago that in desperation I bought a book entitled "How to pick up women", which was advertised in, yes, you guessed it, Playboy magazine, which of course I only ever read for the insightful articles and interviews.

I wasn't exactly flush with spending cash at the time I bought that slender how-to book of procedures, and since I knew for a fact that I would never hold the attention of any woman for long, even if I did succeed in "picking her up", my expectations regarding that book's pointers were realistically low.

Nonetheless, I absorbed the message of that instruction manual, which was essentially that you need to cast aside whatever insecurities you may harbor, and speak up, preferably with a SINCERE compliment or a tasteful bit of humor, to that woman of your dreams, the instant the moment presents itself. I recall that the author also cautioned against dinner dates for first encounters, but was in favor of casual lunch dates, because they leave open the option for either party to walk away with no feelings hurt, if things don't go well.

Well, thanks to the simple lessons from that modest publication, I did date and enjoy the company of a few women who I would never have dreamed of trying to approach before I let my fears go. I have never been a womanizer by any stretch of the imagination, but if life can ultimately be regarded as the sum of one's best memories, I can say I did get my money's worth from buying that book.

If your masculinity can handle it, an aerobics class at the local gym is a superb place to meet women, and also to pre-screen for body type, if that is important, which it sure is for me.

That'll be ten bucks for my free unsolicited advice.

 

Spinnaker I remember feeling so hopelessly alone years ago that in desperation I bought a book entitled "How to pick up women

I too bought a book when I was feeling hopelessly lonely. “PIC C For The Advanced Programmer.”

Anything I say in this regard must be taken with a grain (an entire shaker) of salt. I spent many years happily married until she came home one night, clothing wrinkled, smelling of booze and (snip) and said something like “take your son and get out.” She said nothing of my tools but I took them anyway. (One of my favorite sayings is “I was married for twenty years and it was the best fifteen minutes of my life!”) (The figure “twenty” is arbitrary as is “fifteen minutes” but both are close!)

My suggestion regarding on-line dating sites is to join a Russian Marriage site. Very few speak English (I speak no Russian,) all of the ladies are many years younger (none have ever heard of “Alice’s Restaurant” by Arlo Guthrie) and the chances of actually getting together are the same as finding a four-leaf clover in the Chihuahuan Desert. But the pictures are fun to look at and the “interests” are fun to read. I’ve noticed few-to-none have a hobby, all want to travel and shop and quite a few are already married. Huh?

My successes on pay dating sites can be counted on the fingers of the missing hand of a one-armed man. My first “compatible match” on the eH site was a gal only six months out of prison. Afraid for my life, I never logged back in the site and let my subscription expire without fanfare. My first “potential significant other” lady on the site that sounds like “something you’d use when you can’t find the butane BBQ lighter” was bald, over 6ft tall and lived in the country known for emails looking for help in getting very large sums of money out of the country. What? “I’ll pick you up at 8, don’t be late” said Jerry Lee Lewis.

I suggest you purchase movies to mask the moments of loneliness. When I’m overtaken with feelings of romantic abandonment, I’ll grab something to watch (in no particular order) such as:
Blazing Saddles
Hunt For Red October
Robin Hood, Men In Tights
Animal House
Down Periscope
Blues Brothers
Wrath of Khan, Star Trek
M*A*S*H – The Movie
Monty Python
… and a cabinet full of others newer than those in the list.

That list should indicate I’m not quite right in the head! I’m not at all right. Don’t, for a minute think I am.

Alternatively, take on an impossible project. One time, feeling desperately in need of a romantic encounter, I stopped at a salvage yard and picked up a quadrajet carburetor – I didn’t have a clue about carburetors - swung by the auto parts store and picked up a rebuild kit, took everything home and spent the entire weekend turning that worthless assembly into a brand new, non-functional, never calibrated/adjusted/tested/installed trophy that still sits on a shelf in the shop.

If you’re LOOKING for something, it’s always found in the last place you look.

One of my favorite quotes is by Seaman Buckman (Ken Hudson Campbell) in Down Periscope “Remember, when you rush, that's when accidents happen.”

Welp, I’d better get moving. I’m gonna wander down and get a haircut and a PowerBall ticket ‘cause I have a date tonight. PowerBall odds are 1 in 175,223,510 and I’m guessing I’ll have a better shot at winning the Powerball.

joe

 

Damn Joe. I haven't laughed so hard in a good while.

 

Damn Joe. I haven't laughed so hard in a good while.

That makes me happy!!!

Clarification: “PIC C For The Advanced Programmer.” At the time, some 10 years ago, I didn’t have a clue what a PIC was or what it did.


For the record:

Powerball ticket numbers: 01_17_39_42_51 P/B 14

joe

 

There will be two winners.

 

joe, that was a good one. Russian dating sites... always a curiosity. You made me remember a doc that I watched recently about a desperate Greek village abandoned by women, they tried to set up some dates with russian women from an industrial city, you should have seen the faces of those ladies when they came to the village... talk about being depressed.

 

I think that was a movie.

 

no, a documentary, I dug out a name for you - "Sugartown: The Bridegrooms"

 

Hm... I found its webpage, but I was almost certain there was a comedy film on the same subject. I 'll look a bit more.

 

This is all I found: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQr0607IZqI

 

I too bought a book when I was feeling hopelessly lonely. “PIC C For The Advanced Programmer.”

Anything I say in this regard must be taken with a grain (an entire shaker) of salt. I spent many years happily married until she came home one night, clothing wrinkled, smelling of booze and (snip) and said something like “take your son and get out.” She said nothing of my tools but I took them anyway. (One of my favorite sayings is “I was married for twenty years and it was the best fifteen minutes of my life!”) (The figure “twenty” is arbitrary as is “fifteen minutes” but both are close!)

My suggestion regarding on-line dating sites is to join a Russian Marriage site. Very few speak English (I speak no Russian,) all of the ladies are many years younger (none have ever heard of “Alice’s Restaurant” by Arlo Guthrie) and the chances of actually getting together are the same as finding a four-leaf clover in the Chihuahuan Desert. But the pictures are fun to look at and the “interests” are fun to read. I’ve noticed few-to-none have a hobby, all want to travel and shop and quite a few are already married. Huh?

My successes on pay dating sites can be counted on the fingers of the missing hand of a one-armed man. My first “compatible match” on the eH site was a gal only six months out of prison. Afraid for my life, I never logged back in the site and let my subscription expire without fanfare. My first “potential significant other” lady on the site that sounds like “something you’d use when you can’t find the butane BBQ lighter” was bald, over 6ft tall and lived in the country known for emails looking for help in getting very large sums of money out of the country. What? “I’ll pick you up at 8, don’t be late” said Jerry Lee Lewis.

I suggest you purchase movies to mask the moments of loneliness. When I’m overtaken with feelings of romantic abandonment, I’ll grab something to watch (in no particular order) such as:
Blazing Saddles
Hunt For Red October
Robin Hood, Men In Tights
Animal House
Down Periscope
Blues Brothers
Wrath of Khan, Star Trek
M*A*S*H – The Movie
Monty Python
… and a cabinet full of others newer than those in the list.

That list should indicate I’m not quite right in the head! I’m not at all right. Don’t, for a minute think I am.

Alternatively, take on an impossible project. One time, feeling desperately in need of a romantic encounter, I stopped at a salvage yard and picked up a quadrajet carburetor – I didn’t have a clue about carburetors - swung by the auto parts store and picked up a rebuild kit, took everything home and spent the entire weekend turning that worthless assembly into a brand new, non-functional, never calibrated/adjusted/tested/installed trophy that still sits on a shelf in the shop.

If you’re LOOKING for something, it’s always found in the last place you look.

One of my favorite quotes is by Seaman Buckman (Ken Hudson Campbell) in Down Periscope “Remember, when you rush, that's when accidents happen.”

Welp, I’d better get moving. I’m gonna wander down and get a haircut and a PowerBall ticket ‘cause I have a date tonight. PowerBall odds are 1 in 175,223,510 and I’m guessing I’ll have a better shot at winning the Powerball.

joe

We used to tease my geeky son (software developer, aka code monkey) that he needed a one-armed parapalegic Russian mailorder bride so she couldn't run away from him. By the way, he married a beautiful wonderful drama teacher. Opposites attract? But he's wonderful, too, and very happy.

 

that's pretty much it. It was shown on the knowledge network, but it doesn't look like they have it online.

BBC summarizes what happened http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/this_world/4294064.stm

only I can tell you that I feel rather sad for Kostas the farmer...