You are not alone -- it is a common trap. Unfortunately, there isn't a single common way to break out of it. You have (had) misconceptions based on some wrong viewpoint of how things work and until you encounter an example or explanation that sheds light on that misperception, you will naturally continue to try to view all of the examples through that viewpoint and, hence, have a hard time correcting it.Ok, like I said, I was clinging to some linear ideas. I appreciate all the examples.
I'll be back with more silly questions.
Perhaps this might help (your or others down the road).
I think part of the misconception is due to the use of a water analogy, which is very useful but can't be pushed too far.
Let's say that we have a high pressure source of water, perhaps 3000 psi, and we want to run it through a filter. The filter can handle 200 psi across it's ports and, at that pressure differential, flows 10 gpm (gallons/minute), so we put a restrictor in the line that drops 2800 psi at 10 gpm. So the question is whether it makes a difference which order the two components go in and, in this case, it does. If we put the filter second, then the inlet of the filter is at 200 psi and the outlet is at 0 psi and everything is fine. But if we put the filter first, then the inlet of the filter is at 3000 psi and the outlet is at 2800 psi and there is a good chance that the filter will burst. However, the big difference here is that we have a physically meaningful zero pressure reference, namely the air outside the filter, that the filter is exposed to and interacts with. We can't arbitrarily declare the output of the pump to be 0 psi unless we also recognize the impact of the air outside the filter being at -3000 psi.
The case with electrical components is very different in that, up to a limit, they don't have some meaningful external zero voltage reference -- in the filter analogy it would be the same as building a filter that is so strong that the pressure at or in the filter relative to the air around it has no significance.
But we can use this idea to get a better feel for what is going on, too. In point of fact, that resistor IS sensitive to the voltage difference between it and it's surroundings (in addition to the voltage across its terminals). If the voltage at either terminal gets too high relative to what is surrounding it, then we will get an arc between the two. This can and does happen. But in the vast majority of situations the voltage (relative to the surroundings) needed to cause this is so high, hundreds of thousands or even millions of volts, that we can ignore it. It would be like working with a filter capable of withstanding 30,000,000 psi. If our system pressure never exceeds 3,000 psi, we don't even need to think about it and only care about the pressure difference across the filter.
So, when working with a mental image of a water analogy, assume that the components are so strong that they are never at risk of bursting to the outside air. Hopefully, by the time youi get to the point that you are working with voltages where this assumption isn't valid, you will have enough experience that you won't think in terms of a water analogy -- in fact, at some point you may start thinking about physical systems using electrical analogies.