so if i add a resistor it would slow it down right?
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No, you wont slow it down, it wont get energized at all!
The only way to increase the time is t oincrease the capacitor value or use a relay with greater coil resistane or make the circuit Bill suggested.
About the capacitor value it must be in Farads.
how did you get 9000Ωs?In a common collector circuit the apparent resistance from the base to ground (through the emitter) is the gain of the transistor (β) X the emitter resistor. Figuring the resistor is around 180Ω and β is 50, this brings the resistance up to 9000Ω. 1000µF X 9KΩ = 9 seconds.
You can read more about common collector transistor layouts here.
so if i flip c1 and r1?Bill's circuit does exactly the opposite, it will let the relay to be energized for a while after you power it and then it will de-energize it. To make it work the way you want you have to flip the position of the capacitor and the resistor connected to the base.
What are the factors that determine the time now??Yes flip C1 and R1 and to protect the transistor place a 1K resistor between the connection of C1-R1 and the base.