My neighbor across the street split up with his wife a few months ago, I heard through the grapevine. I haven't seen her in months.

I'm a recluse and he's a recluse that works the night shift. So in 2 years we have talked maybe 4 times but I do have his number.

Today I see his wife outside trying to get into his barn. She walks around trying all the doors, all locked. Then tried the front door of the house, locked. She goes back to the barn looking under rocks and stuff. When she looked up and saw me standing there watching her, she pulled out her phone and pretended to be doing something legitimate. She got in her car and left. Meanwhile my neighbor is inside asleep (night shift).

I debated calling or texting him about what I saw. I know nothing about their situation other than the simple rumor they split up. But I know she is bat crap crazy; the times I talked to her she seemed off her meds. She had altercations with other neighbors and nobody was sad to see her leave. Maybe she had business being there but I think the chances are slim. If she was there to get something from the barn legitimately she could have woken him up. But maybe she was being considerate. I don't know.

I don't want to tattle to him and then he gets upset for me meddling.

 

Imagining that I could put myself in his place, I would be happy to hear a objective report of a person about my home.

 

Ditto. I would try to frame it as innocently factual as possible without any judgement or preconceived suspicion, just a neighbor passing an FYI to another neighbor.

 

Anyone who was there legitimately with consent would have had the proper welcome plus access to the places she was looking.

If it was me I would let him know plus possibly give the local authorities a heads up on who and what you saw so that it gets properly documented with them so that if some stuff does eventually go missing there is a already documented incident noted on who would be most likely suspect.

 

Is the wife hot looking?

 

Did the grapevine say they were divorced? If not, she still has a legal right to be on the property.

Either way, I'd stay out of it unless he approaches you first.

 

Either way, I'd stay out of it unless he approaches you first.

I disagree with staying out of it but heartily agree about not taking sides. They might be getting back together, for all we know.

 

On the other hand, if he is not aware of it, there could be more sinister occurrences afoot in future, say if he lapses and leaves his door unlocked and there is a confrontation and she is off meds and armed.
Max.

 

I just sent him this text message:

There was a woman trying to get into your barn earlier today. I thought it was your wife but it seemed a little suspicious that she couldn't get in so she left. I figured I would let you know just in case it wasn't her.

 

I just sent him this text message:

Good move!!
Max.

 

I just sent him this text message:

I like the innocent and ignorant approach. Good work.

 

Is the wife hot looking?

Not even a little bit.

 

The matter is resolved. Thank you for your input.

 

I just sent him this text message:

There's a reason why police fear for their safety when they go on calls for domestic disturbance.

I've known a number of men who would berate their wives, but would stand up for them without question if someone attacked them (the wives). Some of those men are now divorced...

People aren't always rational in their personal lives. Inserting yourself into the fray can have unintended consequences.

 

I think the note you sent him was just fine. You made him aware of the situation, you let him know that it was almost certainly his wife, yet you left room for everyone involved to save face if needed by hanging their hats on the "fact" that you were acting based only on the possibility that it was an unknown woman that you saw trying to get into his barn.