I realize most microcontrollers have limited memory, but I'd like to load a fart sample (1-2s) and then manipulate it's tone/pitch to achieve 12 notes and halfnotes. Where do I start? Arduino/RaspberryPi (but that would be too easy, for it's got a sound card and cpu and gpu). My budget? I don't know, I've got money saved up, but that's for all my life and not just for electronics, although I favour using it for electronics... 
Hit me, and then we'll investigate price options
if there are any options
Hit me, and then we'll investigate price options