Why does the Hong Kong Police like to get everywhere early?







Cause they like to beat the crowds

 

 

Some may know this but my wife and I have been together a long time. Things in the bedroom have changed a bit since the early days. What was once "3 times a day" quickly became "3 times a week". Then 3x a month. When kids came along 3x a year was not unheard of. The kids are gone and we've returned to what is now 1x a month. But even that is starting to suffer. She doesn't make the same noises she once made. Just the other night I distinctly heard "GET OFF!"

 

 

Where did Captain Hook get his hook?








At the second hand store

"I like second hand, hook store"

If you made it up, funny. Gotta tell my Granddaughters so they will make funny faces at each other.

kv

 

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I think that one beats "Nothing sucks like a Hoover".

 

"I like second hand, hook store"

If you made it up, funny. Gotta tell my Granddaughters so they will make funny faces at each other.

kv

I can only take credit for the way I worded it. I have grandkids and need a steady stream of good jokes. Hope they find it funny.

 

 

Kinda reminds me of the Yankee boy who came down here and had grits for the first time. He asked what it was made from and went home to tell his mom all about the ground corn cobs we ate for breakfast every day.

 

OH MY GAUD - I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT SINCE I WAS A BOY. ON A BLACK AND WHITE TV!

Thanks man.

I remember our first color TV. Every year for about 5 years I'd ask to watch the Charlie Brown Christmas specials because I've never seen it in color before. My parents always placated me and allowed me to watch the Charlie Brown specials whenever they came on.

I could relate to Charlie because he was me. Or I was him. Misunderstood and outcast. Largely because I lived among a particular ethnic group and I was not of that ethnicity. Kids can be so cruel. Wasn't until I had a car that I became popular. In fact, my avatar was created using a Charlie Brown character builder. That's me - balding with glasses.

 

Three new salsa brands have hit the market down where I live. The left and lower right salsa's names are making fun of the English language. The one at the upper right is making fun of a popular (and rather vulgar) expression in Spanish.

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41 seconds. Just watch!

 

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Are Asian Amazon sellers trying to tell us something?

Read the name out loud.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0022ZT69C?ref=em_1p_4_im&ref_=pe_25681250_429219890

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Hello,

Bertus

 

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(preface: See post # 2339 [pg. 117])

My mother was so cruel that I sang, "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead." at her funeral.

Few weeks ago on a job assignment, I got tired of a woman who was in my opinion one of the dumbest people I've ever met. Only one thing worse than having to deal with a stupid person is having to deal with a stupid person who believes they are the epitome of all knowledge.

Well, this woman would spend just about every day complaining about everything. "You dropped a part. PICK IT UP!" "People from the other department are stealing our new chairs." "Second shift is getting the floor dirty by cleaning flux off the board and dripping the solution all over the floor." "Why aren't you working?" "Why are you doing it like that?" And on and on.

For some reason she spent a whole day barking at the back of my neck. Finally, I turned to her and said "LADY (name withheld) - WHY HAVE YOU BEEN BARKING AT THE BACK OF MY NECK ALL DAY? DID SOMEONE DROP A HOUSE ON ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR SISTERS?"

(true story!)

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