Who's the most popular guy on a nudest beach?

The guy who can carry two beer kegs and a dozen doughnuts.

Who's the most popular girl on a nudest beach?

The girl who can eat the last doughnut.

 

My wife and I are married 46 years. We were asked what is the secret to our success. I said we have two rules.
Rule #1: The wife is always right.
Rule #2; When the wife is wrong - refer to rule #1

 

Corollary to rule #1 the only correct answer is "Yes Dear"

 

I think if I had a parrot it would probably be of habit saying "Yes Dear". My neighbor had a parrot that said "Quack Quack".

 

My wife and I are married 46 years.

And it feels just like 5 minutes under water.

 

So it just keeps getting better...

 

Another secret to a long marriage is when we have a disagreement or an argument someone always says "I'm sorry" and I always say "That's OK dear, I forgive you."

{{{ Pg. 110 }}}

Moderators: Please include a "Jump To Page #" button so I don't have to click the forward arrow 20 times to get to a page I want to continue reading jokes (and way useless comments about other things not related to jokes). There are relatively few jokes compared to the number of entries I have to go through to find them.

 

Teacher asks the class "what's 119 + 1?"

Student answers “5!”

Teacher: "Correct!"

 

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Bubba notices Red's old Blue Tick hound lying in the shade with his back leg kicked up and licking his privates. Bubba muses out loud I wish I could do that. Red looks at him and squints his eyes up and says You could... but that dog'll bite you.


A tip of the hat to Max, you just never know where that dog's mouth has been.

 

I say mucho when I’m around Hispanic people....







It means a lot to them...

 

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Where did Captain Hook get his hook?








At the second hand store

 

Removed by poster. The situation has been satisfactorily explained.

@justtrying Thank you for your support, but the reason my joke was removed has been clarified; and I'm in agreement with it. You may "Unlike" the post I've changed.

 

Removed by poster. The situation has been satisfactorily explained.

 

A friend and I were in the park for the Fourth of July fireworks. We spent the day there goofing around, having lunch and squirting each other with squirt guns. We paused for ice cream. I picked up my squirt gun and pointed it at him and he emphatically stated: "HEY! I'M UNARMED!" I said "This is not a battle of wits."