I hear he's been hired for a Blazing Saddles remake.

Nobody move or ...

 

 

A guy walks into a bar. Pauses at the entrance, pulls out 1911 colt and fires a shot into the air.

He yells out, "I got 6 shots left, where's the SOB who been seeing my wife"?

As the smoke falls in the still silence........a low back-wall voice sings out, "you're gona need more ammunition"!

 

Hate to quibble with a good joke but wouldn't it appeal to a broader audience to say "revolver" or even "six-gun", and "5 shots left"? I had to look up that the 1911 Colt is a 7-shot gun.

 

You need to watch this actual horse race to the end....

 

You need to watch this actual horse race to the end....

At the end of the race, the 2nd place horse was renamed to "Wife Left Me And Took Everything".

 

 

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The old women that cares for me, tells me I only have two faults. The first one is that I don't listen.

And the second one is........I don't remember.

 

View attachment 173777

 

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Chinese safety warning for a mini electric screwdriver:

Sage advice, me thinks!!

 

A SHORT LOVE STORY

A man and a woman who had never met before -- but who were both married to other people -- found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!", he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own damn blanket."

After a moment of silence, he farted.

The End.

 

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View attachment 174850​

You are on a role. Just don't let the wife see these.

 

You are on a role. Just don't let the wife see these.

Nah ... she found them funny too! ...

 

 

How owner of a Search Engine is able to reach God's place?!