A blonde asked in the train station at the Information desk:
- How long does it take by train from Paris to Bonn ?
- Just a second.
- Thank you !

 

@tom_s

I am asking that cause from what I read here and there, you night be a paid actor somewhere in South America.
And Australia does not exist.

So where are you at exactly ?

 

so you live in north america? only found out recently that north america is actually mexico

don't get paid for acting and the jokes are for free

pedantic answer 1 - NSL room sitting in chair typing to you (Not So Little room)

it used to be the little room until the west wall was moved 300mm wester, hence aptly renamed

pedantic answers 2 - today sunny and cloudy side of melbourne (as in profile)

oh, isn't cuba another bit of north america were visitors are havana good time?

and south america's? i no bolivia

 

not related to the above

i like european food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary.

after Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey.

when I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.

 

when you see lovers' names carved in a tree, surprising how many people bring a knife on a date

---

dentist - 'you need a crown'
R!f@@ - 'finally, someone who understands me!'

---

beer manufacturers are thinking of taking the female hormones out of beer

when you drink too much all you talk is nonsense and can't control the car

 

Investment Opportunities 2017.

MERGER TIPS FOR2017: For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.
Watch for these consolidations in2017:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. Will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller,Grace.

2. Polygram Records,Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6. FairchildElectronics and Honeywell Computers willbecome: Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: PouponPants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become:Knott NOW!

And finally....

9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the newname: TittyTittyBangBang
Max.

 

dentist - 'you need a crown'
R!f@@ - 'finally, someone who understands me!'

I admit...that was funny.

 

9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the newname: TittyTittyBangBang

That one just made my wife blow wine out of her nose.

 

At a conference a lecturer is asked
- Will there be the Third World War?
- World War III will not be. But it will be a such a struggle for peace, that there will be nothing left.

 

At a conference a lecturer is asked
- Will there be the Third World War?
- World War III will not be. But it will be a such a struggle for peace, that there will be nothing left.

And this a a joke how?

Maybe it is over my head? Or something is lost in translation?

 

- Will there be the Third World War?
- World War III will not be. But it will be a such a struggle for peace, that there will be nothing left.

Ay, there’s the rub.
(Hamlet).
Max.

 

on patrol, a few of the soldiers found a stash of grenades in a hut

their CO asked them to check them out

while the soldiers where concentrating the task at hand, one bright spark help up a spare pin

'hey, has anyone seen my grenade?'

 

on patrol, a few of the soldiers found a stash of grenades in a hut

their CO asked them to check them out

while the soldiers where concentrating the task at hand, one bright spark help up a spare pin

'hey, has anyone seen my grenade?'

I wish I spoke Australian. I'll bet this is funny.

 

Hello,

Here is one for you @cmartinez :



Bertus

 

Hello,

Here is one for you @cmartinez :

View attachment 127834

Bertus

Just don't burn the resistors. They don't taste good.

I know this from experience.

 

Hello,

Here is one for you @cmartinez :

View attachment 127834

Bertus

Isn't this cannibalism?

 

Isn't this cannibalism?

Noooooo.... it's called the cycle of life!

 

Hello,

How about shakespear in electronics:



Bertus

 

Hello,

This looks like a dangerous trampoline:



Bertus

 

Hello,

This looks like a dangerous trampoline:

View attachment 127876

Bertus

Boys night out?