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The Jokes thread
- Thread starter R!f@@
- Start date
His name was Bubba, he was from The South ... And he needed a loan, So... He walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the Loan Officer.
He told the Loan Officer that he was going to Paris for an International Redneck Festival for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a new Ferrari.
The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The Redneck produced the title and everything checked out. The Loan Officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.
Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Redneck from Kentucky for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.. While you were away, we checked you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a Distinguished Alumni from University of Kentucky , a highly sophisticated investor and Multi-Millionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the world. Your investments include a large number of wind turbines north of Lafayette, Indiana. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The good 'ole boy replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?"
He told the Loan Officer that he was going to Paris for an International Redneck Festival for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank.
The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a new Ferrari.
The car was parked on the street in front of the bank. The Redneck produced the title and everything checked out. The Loan Officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.
Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Redneck from Kentucky for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private underground garage and parked it.
Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.. While you were away, we checked you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a Distinguished Alumni from University of Kentucky , a highly sophisticated investor and Multi-Millionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the world. Your investments include a large number of wind turbines north of Lafayette, Indiana. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The good 'ole boy replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?"
As the train rolled out of the station, a woman sitting next to him pulled out her mobile phone.
She started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart. It's Sue. I'm on the train. Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting. No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss. No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life. Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart!"
Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly. When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone, "Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed."
She started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart. It's Sue. I'm on the train. Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting. No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss. No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life. Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart!"
Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly. When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone, "Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed."
I suspect their are quite a few "pizzas" seen by the doc daily that he would not care to eat.Speak for yourself mister.
Yeah not that kind of a Doc myself but I would imagine so :|
Ken and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Ken would say, "Edna, I'd like to ride in that helicopter."
Edna always replied, "I know Ken, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks."
One year Ken and Edna went to the fair, and Ken said, "Edna, I'm 75 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance."
To this, Edna replied, "Ken that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks."
The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars."
Ken and Edna agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.
He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,
But still not a word...
When they landed, the pilot turned to Ken and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"
Ken replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out. But you know, fifty bucks is fifty bucks!"
Edna always replied, "I know Ken, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks."
One year Ken and Edna went to the fair, and Ken said, "Edna, I'm 75 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance."
To this, Edna replied, "Ken that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks."
The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars."
Ken and Edna agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.
He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,
But still not a word...
When they landed, the pilot turned to Ken and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"
Ken replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out. But you know, fifty bucks is fifty bucks!"
And not the other way around...
djsfantasi
- Joined Apr 11, 2010
- 9,237
Looks like toilet paper theft is a big problem.
Venezuela?
djsfantasi
- Joined Apr 11, 2010
- 9,237
Boston
People are amazing. I live in a nice retirement community. We used to have showers at the golf course, but the lines got to long in the mornings to use the clubs water that they took them out. Same thing with the sunscreen. We still have a single comb - seems like no one wants to take the last one. Guy down the street takes his trash to the Quickie Mart so he doesn't have to pay for trash pick up. Guess his time is free.
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