All AboutWendy

Thread Starter

Wendy

Joined Mar 24, 2008
21,914
Right now is probably the roughest time I have ever had in my life I am still very paralyzed on my left side. With lots of help I can transfer to a wheelchair.Mentally I have recovered, I think I am much more aware and acute than I used to be. I exercise about 4 hours a day hoping Some spark in my mind will wake up and connect my arm/hand or finish connecting to my leg.I spend most of my time in bed with a cranky old laptop that has seen better days.My caretaker is a TV addict that doesn't understand why that is not enough for me, I have had arguments about keeping this computer. Depression tells me I may be like this for the rest of my life, and I have had to come to terms with that fact.I still have hope, but it is a struggle to keep alive. It is fragile.I am treated like baby since I can not transport myself to a bathroom.Very little dignity remains.

Plus side is I can write.Which helps fight the isolation and loneliness I am feeling. If you have a faith I could use some prayers. I have people who care enough to take care of my basic needs,so there is that.

/rant
 

MrAl

Joined Jun 17, 2014
6,782
Right now is probably the roughest time I have ever had in my life I am still very paralyzed on my left side. With lots of help I can transfer to a wheelchair.Mentally I have recovered, I think I am much more aware and acute than I used to be. I exercise about 4 hours a day hoping Some spark in my mind will wake up and connect my arm/hand or finish connecting to my leg.I spend most of my time in bed with a cranky old laptop that has seen better days.My caretaker is a TV addict that doesn't understand why that is not enough for me, I have had arguments about keeping this computer. Depression tells me I may be like this for the rest of my life, and I have had to come to terms with that fact.I still have hope, but it is a struggle to keep alive. It is fragile.I am treated like baby since I can not transport myself to a bathroom.Very little dignity remains.

Plus side is I can write.Which helps fight the isolation and loneliness I am feeling. If you have a faith I could use some prayers. I have people who care enough to take care of my basic needs,so there is that.

/rant
Hi there Wendy,

Very very sorry to hear about your situation there. You are definitely in my prayers.

Keep moving as much as you can as that will help i think. Thankfully you can still type. If you somehow loose that maybe you could try one of those speech to text programs like Dragon or something. They are not perfect but at least then you'll still be able to communicate with people on the web which is a good idea.
 

GopherT

Joined Nov 23, 2012
8,012
@Wendy
I've been reading reports on this for the past two years. In Japan (where its use was first studied and promoted), the hospitals using this call it "Forest Bathing". The results are extraordinary vs the cost (only a car or bus ride) and side effects (possible sunburn if the forest is not dense).

Here is a link to a summary of one study- specific to depression in stroke patients.

The effects of forest therapy on depression and anxiety in patients with chronic stroke.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27033879
 

wayneh

Joined Sep 9, 2010
16,124
Don't forget the basics. I call it the SEE method, Sleep-Eat-Exercise. Attention to these three things is a necessary condition for physical health and wellness. For many, achieving good control of these three 'simple' factors may also be sufficient for mental health.

I'm certain that success at SEE is more difficult for you now, but that's a reason to work all the harder at them, not to let them slide. They're inter-related: A little exercise can help your appetite and promote better sleep at night. So letting one leg of the stool fall out of control can make the others more difficult to manage.

Details of how to achieve success at SEE could fill a book, one I've considered writing. You're probably aware of tricks to get better sleep, and I think you know what exercise is about. Eight hours of sleep and 30 minutes of mild exercise. So the only detail I'll list here is one I've only lately been learning the importance of myself. Eat more plants. There is mounting and compelling evidence that we need phytochemicals from plants for health and longevity. I was skeptical at first but that was out of ignorance of all that has been learned in the last few decades. I'm not to the point of eliminating meat from my diet, far from it, but I'm making sure every meal has plant-based dishes along with it. I've discovered I actually prefer this! Instead of passing out after 3 brats, now I'll have just one with a range of fantastic side dishes.

Seek out fresh vegetables and fruits and think of it as a research project to map out what you like. Like any experiment, the results will not always be a success. I always thought I hated certain veggies such as spinach, beets and brussels sprouts because my only experience with them was my mom serving them out of a can. I still hate the canned versions but have discovered I love these veggies when they're prepared properly. And there are so many others. Try new stuff every chance you get.

SEE is necessary, but is it sufficient? Maybe not. People are different and some do better with contact to a network of friends and family, to a church, to a purpose. It's pretty clear that people thrive better when they practice an attitude of gratitude every day. When they pet a furry animal. Only you know which of these things may elevate your health and your mood. Give them a chance and hang in there.
 

Sinus23

Joined Sep 7, 2013
245
.I am treated like baby since I can not transport myself to a bathroom.Very little dignity remains.
As odd as it sounds. I hope that is just how you feel rather than how you are being treated. My mother and I would have to help my father to the toilet and I know he felt helpless at those moments and undignified even though we thought no less of him.

Keep on kicking asses and taking down names because even though tomorrow might be similar to today. The day after tomorrow could be the best day in your life. :)

Since I'm an atheist I don't pray however I hope, and I hope your recovery will be swift.:)
 

Thread Starter

Wendy

Joined Mar 24, 2008
21,914
Thanks guys, I have been ignoring some threadIs still kinda feel are important so I felt some explanation was in order. I am gong to discuss some private feelings I don't usually do here. so if you are sensitive you may want to skip the rest . Accepting myself as transgender was one of the harder things I have had to do. I lived with a very long intense depression fighting a battle I couldn't win. By giving in and addressing it I actually won, If I had had to fight this stroke on top of gender dysphoria I probably would have found a way to end myself. But having finished that internal battle first I can handle this one better. Who knows, maybe I'll heal? The one thing I learned is to talk to people and be honest. The woman who has stepped up to take care of me will never read this, She has an aversion to tech I find a bit strange. I tried to be there when she needed a friend and she is paying me back a thousandfold. She would rather I use me phone instead of my computer, but not being able to hold the phone properly puts a crimp in that. I have to use high power reading glasses for both the computer and my phone. I am bored to deah. If there is a thread I can help out on please point me to it.
 

wayneh

Joined Sep 9, 2010
16,124
You know @Wendy, one thing this site could sorely use is an easier way to find basic circuits. I know there are plenty of other sites that catalog all sorts of circuits, and they're darn useful. But as you know, quality can be an issue. There's a lot of dreck out there.

I could see a role for AAC as being a repository of tested and validated schematics for simple circuits with explanations of why they work and their limitations. One of the greatest cookbooks of all time was Julia Child's. A big part of its success was due to the fact that every recipe and concept in the book was tested over and over. Your blog on this site contains a few rock solid LED circuits. Over the years I can recall seeing other experts here submit elegant PWM circuits, audio amps, and on and on. All the things noobs come here in search of. But currently this collective wisdom is "hidden" in the forums. Yes, it's all there if you search for it and read hundreds - if not thousands - of posts. That's not what a typical searcher is looking for. If they want a circuit for an audio amp or an LED flasher they expect to find a half dozen or so and choose the one that seems closest to their needs. They don't want to read hundreds of posts, back and forth, as each circuit evolves. It can be hard to follow a thread even if you're participating in it, let alone coming along years later.

The work I'm suggesting, to glean the gold out of the forum chaff, makes me picture Sisyphus pushing a boulder up a mountain on his nose. Maybe that's too much like your own outlook on life right now. But if you could bite off small bits it might have a big impact on the future visitors here.
 

Thread Starter

Wendy

Joined Mar 24, 2008
21,914
That is what I tried todo with The Compleded projects form index, until my brain fog get clearer I will pick that thread back up. Maybe I can followyour suggestio. Until I regain som mobility I can' dip into my rather deep parts stock an actually lay out some tested experiments.One of my several fustrations.
 

Reloadron

Joined Jan 15, 2015
4,687
Look Wendy, you have suffered a major setback and while I do not have an MD shingle at my door I know major setbacks take time to recover, lots of time. About 4 years ago I had some major surgery and a few complications came my way. Embarrassed by help came the day I decided me and all my wires were going to make a bathroom trip solo. I covered about 1/2 the distance and things went very, very wrong. Bad idea on my part. About 4 weeks in an ICU and it was two weeks before I could even have broth. I never felt more helpless in my life. My caretakers were great fortunately and I learned to be humble and accept the help with things I couldn't do. Pretty humbling experience but with help I managed and set my pride aside. Something like a stroke is a horrible experience but let me tell you I could not agree more than with Dick Cappels in that each time I read your writings I see tremendous improvement which I know reflects considerable work and effort on your part. Yes, it is easy to get depressed, very depressed when you can't manage a trip to the bathroom less help but with each day things improve. Look back several weeks and look at yourself today. You also have passed your struggle with your identity. You have the thoughts and prayers of a hell of a lot of people working for you and looking at change since the beginning you have come a long, long way. All of that took guts! You are doing something right. Just keep doing it and lets get the depression crap behind you.

I wish you the best for continued recovery. Give yourself credit!

Ron
 

Aleph(0)

Joined Mar 14, 2015
593
@Wendy I totally agree with other members saying your communication ability has vastly improved to point of sounding like yourself again:)! So I say plz take heart cuz dramatic recovery from aphasia symptoms means you're still healing so ongoing general improvement is also vry likely:)!
 

Thread Starter

Wendy

Joined Mar 24, 2008
21,914
OK I am doing better. I have lots of time, but find I am having trouble getting motivated doing things I love like drawing schematics and designing in general. (Depression based) Since I am feeling more aware I will resume doing these this or go stir crazy I may put out a call for peopl (volunteers)e to breadboard some of the thing for my various articles. If you are new here my blog of electronics can be found at

Wendy's Index
 

Thread Starter

Wendy

Joined Mar 24, 2008
21,914
To me it feels like I'm not meeting commitments I've made to myself. Comes from a lifetime work ethic, Damn it, I was not ready to retire,I view my exercise as a job substitute, it is not very fulfilling. If I get some semblance of my mobility back(where I don;t need an attendant)I will be looking for another job. Even if it is a Walmart greeter (yuck). There are volunteer jobs that can be fulfilling, but I feel I will need some extra cash to feed my electron pushing habit
, I'm such a bully.
 
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spinnaker

Joined Oct 29, 2009
7,837
To me it feels like I'm not meeting commitments I've made to myself. Comes from a lifetime work ethic, Damn it, I was not ready to retire,I view my exercise as a job substitute, it is not very fulfilling. If I get some semblance of my mobility back(where I don;t need an attendant)I will be looking for another job. Even if it is a Walmart greeter (yuck). There are volunteer jobs that can be fulfilling, but I feel I will need some extra cash to feed my electron pushing habit.
Your only job right now is to get better. That is an enormous job right now. And from the sound of it you are meeting that very important commitment.
 

Thread Starter

Wendy

Joined Mar 24, 2008
21,914
Lord Have Mercy!
I may not have been born a woman but I have mood swings down pat!

I have been very depressed lately. I plan on getting more active here to fight it .My birthday was the 25th. I am trying to stay positive.Reaally I am (Que Audrey Hepburn's voice). My son moved to California(It was time for him to leave the nest.I gave my fullest blessing) but it still hurts.The business office of the county hospital tried tell Me they could not treat me and would cancel my upcoming appointments because I don't have insurance. I just handed my phone(literally)To my roommate/caretaker.. She is good damn good(I think they realized how badly this would have gone down and backed off quickly I am so blessed to have good friends.I don't know why I get depressed. The mental hole in my head is reduced but still there. I don't handle conversations like that well.

The local Maker space chipped in and got my a powered wheelchair. No small children or small pets have been run over yet but I make no promises. I was at that hospital I mentioned getting a catheter change trying the chair out for the fist time when someone asked does that chair have a turbo mode? To which I smiled and said"Yes it does!" The elevator door opened.I put the chair in fast and scooted out of there. No one said those things were fun!

Rather walk though.

I think my sense of humor still survives. I need it
 
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