Thank you cards

Thread Starter

strantor

Joined Oct 3, 2010
5,289
My grandmother sends me a birthday card with 20$ in it. Also inside the envelope is another envelope with a fresh stamp on it, and inside that envelope is a blank thank you card. For the first 10 seconds I was staring at the blank thank you card, I was thinking "my gosh, Grandma is really losing it" - then I figured it out. This is her way of saying "Now listen here, you ungrateful grandchild: When someone takes the time to send you a birthday card, you damn well better send a thank you card back. Now I've included one in this letter, already postmarked, so you have no excuse in the world not to send it."

I really don't know if I should send her thank you card back to her or if I should go get my own and send it back. I don't know which one would be less of an insult to her.

Do you guys send thank you cards for birthday cards?
 

Georacer

Joined Nov 25, 2009
5,182
I don't know. We never used mail in my family. I see my mother's mother every month or less and my father's mother about twice a year. We also talk on the phone occasionally, so there's no need for cards.
 

1chance

Joined Nov 26, 2011
46
As a grandmother myself, I applaud her straightforward approach. Yes, use the thank you card, but enclose a picture and personal letter to boot. I would include in the letter a fond memory of time shared with her either recent or as a child. Wait a week after mailing it, and then give her a phone call. What she wants is for you to stay in contact with her. As her world is getting more narrow, yours is getting wider and she is afraid that she is no longer important to you. Snail mail is much more important to her generation than you may think. It would be great if you bought several "thinking of you" type cards and marked your calendar (or phone calendar if that is what you use) to remember to mail one at least once a month. If you make this a habit, you will not regret it.
 

1chance

Joined Nov 26, 2011
46
Do you guys send thank you cards for birthday cards?
One of my daughter-in-laws sends a thank you card to me after every Christmas or birthday event. I really treasure this gesture of appreciation from her. I don't keep all the birthday or Christmas cards I'm sent, but I do keep her thank you's!
 

MrChips

Joined Oct 2, 2009
21,325
My mom (91) is in failing health but still in good spirits. We paid her a visit this weekend. She was very happy to see her grandchildren.
 

mcgyvr

Joined Oct 15, 2009
5,394
A nice grandma would just do things for others and not expect anything in return. ;)
Someones getting a little crabby in their old age :)
 

t06afre

Joined May 11, 2009
5,934
A nice grandma would just do things for others and not expect anything in return. ;)
Someones getting a little crabby in their old age :)
A grandma with polite grandchildren should not have to ask for a simple "thank you" either on a general basis. No offense to you Strantor.
 

Thread Starter

strantor

Joined Oct 3, 2010
5,289
I would be crabby in her position too. I never realized thank you cards were such a big deal or would have been sending them all along.
 

THE_RB

Joined Feb 11, 2008
5,438
Yeah I agree. It's stupid that people pay for a card, take all the time to address it mail it, and inside the only thing they write "with love from X".

If you are gonna send a card send something worthwhile, like write how you are and what you've been up to, etc, real things that someone you love might enjoy reading. Like in the old days when people sent real letters to each other. A "card" is just a fake cop out really, it looks pretty so you don't have to spend any real time putting in any real value.
 

Markd77

Joined Sep 7, 2009
2,806
What I do for relatives is get blank cards (no message or picture) and glue a photo I've taken on the front. They look pretty good and cost a fraction of the price of real cards.
Here's one, I gave my mum the bear a couple of years ago, but took about ten photos before I sent it so every Christmas, birthday and Mothers Day she gets a card like this.
 

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1chance

Joined Nov 26, 2011
46
What I do for relatives is get blank cards (no message or picture) and glue a photo I've taken on the front. They look pretty good and cost a fraction of the price of real cards.
Here's one, I gave my mum the bear a couple of years ago, but took about ten photos before I sent it so every Christmas, birthday and Mothers Day she gets a card like this.
That's a really cool idea!! I'd love to be on the receiving end of one of these!! :D
 

happyganl

Joined Dec 17, 2009
157
What I do for relatives is get blank cards (no message or picture) and glue a photo I've taken on the front. They look pretty good and cost a fraction of the price of real cards.
Here's one, I gave my mum the bear a couple of years ago, but took about ten photos before I sent it so every Christmas, birthday and Mothers Day she gets a card like this.
So cute,lovely;).
 

Thread Starter

strantor

Joined Oct 3, 2010
5,289
Perhaps she just wanted to hear from you. Send her a picture and write some words about your self. Like how you are feeling and what you are doing. And after a while call her and ask if she got your card. She will love it, and it want cost you much. So just do it
As a grandmother myself, I applaud her straightforward approach. Yes, use the thank you card, but enclose a picture and personal letter to boot. I would include in the letter a fond memory of time shared with her either recent or as a child. Wait a week after mailing it, and then give her a phone call. What she wants is for you to stay in contact with her. As her world is getting more narrow, yours is getting wider and she is afraid that she is no longer important to you. Snail mail is much more important to her generation than you may think. It would be great if you bought several "thinking of you" type cards and marked your calendar (or phone calendar if that is what you use) to remember to mail one at least once a month. If you make this a habit, you will not regret it.
Your suggestions were a hit! I went out and bought a nice card, I wrote her a 6 page letter, and put a dozen pictures in it. My aunt who lives near her sent me this message:

Grandma is carrying your card and letter around like they are made of gold. She told me all about it on the phone, then had me read it when I was there, then sent it home with me for Dennis to read, as well. She is so proud and touched.
When mom was younger, she was an impressive tornado of activity and ability. She did a vast array of - well, EVERYTHING - and did it all well. Now she is pretty frail, her world is small, and the love and honor of her family are very, very BIG to her. Time is love, and she is feeling very loved because of what you did.
Thank you so much!
 

Markd77

Joined Sep 7, 2009
2,806
This is my mums birthday and Christmas sorted out and a couple to carry around in my camera bag for more cards.
Smallest bear is 2.5cm tall.
 

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loosewire

Joined Apr 25, 2008
1,686
@ Mark77 Happy Birthday to your mom....tell her the guys you help out

sends out best wishes for many more birthdays....let her know that you are

on the world stage..she will be proud of you. Loosewire
 
I got a tear in my eye reading about the way that letter and those pictures gladdened your grandma's heart, Stantor, for the description of your grandma, offered by your aunt, precisely describes my own mother, in her younger years.

Three weeks ago, as a light drizzle fell, we laid my mom to rest, and since then, I have spent a fair amount of time comtemplating all the "woulda and shoulda" occasions in the past, when I missed chances to gladden her heart with the sort of simple gesture you describe above.
 
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