I just listened to the high school guidance counselor speak through the mouth of my oldest kid (daughter, 15 y/o); the same line my own high school guidance counselors tried in vain to plant in my head... "I really just want to go to college to get a bachelor's in... you know, like, whatever, like, something cool, and after I have that I can go get a job wherever, doesn't even have to be related to my degree..."
Ignoring that advice and refusing to bang that drum is one of the few examples I can think of, where my teenage self-destructive tendency to defy authority actually served me well. My parents felt that my going into the military instead of off to college was a waste of potential, and I was more than "ok" with them feeling that way. In retrospect I think 4 years in the military was better for me than 4 years in college would have been. I came back an adult, more qualified to make decisions that cost money, and with a free ride to college (which I abandoned after 1 year in favor of starting a business).
My daughter is a better kid than I was. She doesn't have that rebellious bent, and she wants to make good decisions. But I don't think those authorities at school are giving sound advice. I think they are now, like back when I graduated in 2004, telling every kid it is imperative that they go to college or else they'll be digging proverbial or literal ditches. I am strongly opposed to that mantra; I have my own ideas about it (which haven't changed much in the past 20 years) and I want to open them up to critique/criticism. I grow less confident in my world view as the time draws near and the reality of my daughter's future becomes more, well, real. I figured this the best place to do it since am probably in the minority in this forum having no college degree.
My thoughts are as follows:
Ignoring that advice and refusing to bang that drum is one of the few examples I can think of, where my teenage self-destructive tendency to defy authority actually served me well. My parents felt that my going into the military instead of off to college was a waste of potential, and I was more than "ok" with them feeling that way. In retrospect I think 4 years in the military was better for me than 4 years in college would have been. I came back an adult, more qualified to make decisions that cost money, and with a free ride to college (which I abandoned after 1 year in favor of starting a business).
My daughter is a better kid than I was. She doesn't have that rebellious bent, and she wants to make good decisions. But I don't think those authorities at school are giving sound advice. I think they are now, like back when I graduated in 2004, telling every kid it is imperative that they go to college or else they'll be digging proverbial or literal ditches. I am strongly opposed to that mantra; I have my own ideas about it (which haven't changed much in the past 20 years) and I want to open them up to critique/criticism. I grow less confident in my world view as the time draws near and the reality of my daughter's future becomes more, well, real. I figured this the best place to do it since am probably in the minority in this forum having no college degree.
My thoughts are as follows:
- The public education system is (and has been) engaged in an intense marketing campaign on behalf of the private education industry that borders on brainwashing. Not to go into conspiracy theories about it, but... I may or may not harbor conspiracy theories about it.
- This indoctrination into the "YOU. MUST. GO. TO. COLLEGE." horde has paved the way for college tuition to rise several-fold over inflation over the past few decades.
- Getting a degree nowdays usually entails going into massive debt before you even understand how debt works, leaving you saddled for the next decade or two.
- Having a degree seems to set one up with the expectation of a well-paying white collar job and no dirt under the fingernails. The "white collar" expectation is often counter to the expectation of "well-paying", which is more and more found in the trades, where supply and demand (of people willing to do the work) actually dictates a higher salary than folks with degrees can achieve.
- Having a degree no longer sets you apart in the workplace. When everyone has one, you're just another drop in the bucket. What really sets you apart in this job market is experience.
- If you have a passion, calling, strong desire, or whatever you want to call it; if you "know what you want to be when you grow up," and that profession requires a degree (doctor, scientist, etc.) then you should probably get a degree after high school. Otherwise, you should probably enter the workforce. If after a few jobs you have a better understanding of the world and yourself and you have identified a path you'd like to take and that path has a checkpoint inside a university, then take the path and spend the time and money in university.
- Whether or not you should go to college depends (or should depend) as critically on who you are (maturity, intelligence, work ethic, etc.) as on what you want to be when you grow up.
- Conversely to my previous points, while I haven't experienced it myself, I have heard other people's stories which lend weight to the argument that the imagined/fabricated need for degrees has resulted in an all-too-real demand for them. While they no longer set you apart, they are now a filtering criteria that is checked by default by many HR departments' search algorithms, even for jobs that absolutely shouldn't require them. A lazy way of eliminating "low hanging fruit."
- She has a big heart and won't say a mean thing about anyone.
- She isn't an inquisitive person. She was never that kid who asks a million questions. She doesn't wonder how things work or why things are the way they are. To her, things work, things are, and that's enough.
- She is well behaved, never gets in serious trouble. As teenagers go, she isn't disrespectful or ill tempered at all.
- She always does what she's told, but she has to be told to do everything. She will not self-initiate tasks. No amount of positive or negative reinforcement seems to have any effect.
- She isn't adventurous and doesn't get interested in new things. She won't try drugs for same reason she won't try curry or robotics club.
- She has her first real boyfriend and she's more interested in him than I've ever seen her in interested in anything in her life.
- She keeps a cool head, doesn't get overly stressed out about anything (at least not outwardly).
- She takes the path of least resistance in all things. I don't know what she's capable of because I've never seen her expend more than the bare minimum of effort in any pursuit. She's content to get Cs and Ds in her classes because they aren't Fs.
- She likes to have good clean fun. She plays sports but isn't very competitive. She's in it more for the fun and camaraderie.
- I worry that she will feel like she is destined for college and I will (currently do) feel like she isn't.
- I worry that she will be resentful later, because her younger sister probably is destined for college, and as a totally different kind of person, the advice I give her will be totally different than the advice I give to my oldest.
- I worry that if I invest in her education it will be money wasted. She'll change her major 10 times and then drop out. Or fail repeatedly and then drop out.
- I worry that if she tries to go on her own (student loans) the result will be same but she'll be paying for the mistake until her middle years.
- I worry that I'm wrong about all this and that if I try to guide her in another direction I'll damage her future in ways I'll never know.