How long should it take for someone to get over the death of a spouse?

Thread Starter

spinnaker

Joined Oct 29, 2009
7,835
How long should it take for someone to get over the death of a spouse? I realize you would probably never really get over it.

My friend lost her husband of the Christmas holidays and she is still very depressed. When we met she does not actually break down crying over her husband but she is still noticeably upset. Should I be worried or will it just take time for her to get over it?

I of course am her friend so her sorrow really doesn't upset me other than the fact that she has to go through this difficult period. And I will stand by her.

Just wanted to know if I might suggest to her that she might seek out a support group or some other help.
 

DerStrom8

Joined Feb 20, 2011
2,390
It can take from several weeks to several years. Especially being around the Holidays, there's an annual reminder of what happened, and it is particularly difficult to deal with. The best thing you can do is offer your support. Let her grieve. It may take a while, but it is normal. Just do your best to support her in this time of need, and she will eventually find peace.

Best wishes,
Matt
 

maxpower097

Joined Feb 20, 2009
816
Theres no definitive time. Each person is different. In some ways you will never get over it. In time though it won't be as bad. Only you'll know that and its different for everyone.
 

davebee

Joined Oct 22, 2008
540
Well, I lost my wife of 20 years to cancer about two and a half years ago.

I'd say it took me about a year to get back to basic healthy functionality, but there are a lot of emotional remnants that still persist pretty strongly even now.

I had a lot of supportive friends, and didn't go to any support group, but I have a friend who lost her husband and got a lot of benefit from a group, so I'd suggest she try it.
 

Sue_AF6LJ

Joined Mar 16, 2013
45
Well it depends on their relationship I suppose.
My stepmother still isn't over the death of my father in late 2008, they loved each other more than any couple I have known.

I had a coworker who lost his wife of over forty-five years it took him well over three years before he could get on with his life.

Your friend may never get over her loss and that is completely understandable.
 

Wendy

Joined Mar 24, 2008
22,702
If she does not have family over the holidays it would probably be best if you were there for her, to help her cope.
 

Thread Starter

spinnaker

Joined Oct 29, 2009
7,835
If she does not have family over the holidays it would probably be best if you were there for her, to help her cope.
No worry about that. We have a small circle of friends that will take care of her.

I just wonder if it is not her husband's death she is mourning so much, rather that her life will not go as planned.
 

loosewire

Joined Apr 25, 2008
1,686
This may not be the the fix, but a point to make in general. True story... couple

moved to Fla. from St Louis...moved in early at there new condo...sheets for

drapes. Workmen notice them living alone..some Idea that they had money.

Get to the point...they were taken to the Everglades,shot,stabbed many times

run over with car...left for dead submerged in canal.....the husband survived to

point them out in court. The story and point...the human body is tough....so don't

let anyone give up easy and let nature take its course....things happen....life is not

fair. Listen, do the best you can.
 

loosewire

Joined Apr 25, 2008
1,686
No ,Shortbus...just how tough the human body is....its a tough piece of skin.

It will take a lot of stress, there other parts to a story. You like to show off

the weak points,you think I have...sorry to disapoint you. Be well Shortbus.
 
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