35 rules for life

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Mvjhoda, Jul 30, 2011.

  1. Mvjhoda

    Thread Starter New Member

    Jul 13, 2011
    1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

    2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

    3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

    4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

    5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

    6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

    7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

    8. A person who is nice to you but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

    9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

    10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

    11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

    12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

    13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

    14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

    15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

    16. A balanced diet is a muffin in each hand.

    17. Middle age is when a person's broad mind and narrow waist change places.

    18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

    19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

    20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

    21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

    22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

    23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

    24. Someone who thinks logically provides nice contrast to the real world.

    25. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.

    26. If you had to identify in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved it's full potential, that word would be "meetings."

    27. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

    28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

    29. You should not confuse your career with your life.

    30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

    31. Never lick a steak knife.

    32. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

    33. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

    34. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

    35. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that deep down inside we ALL believe we are good drivers.
    Neyolight and magnet18 like this.
  2. mbohuntr

    Active Member

    Apr 6, 2009
  3. michellewatson912

    New Member

    Aug 15, 2012
    Interesting facts, thanks for sharing.

    Writing good quality blogs is an art, you may learn it but it takes time if you are not a natural.

    Michelle W
  4. Sparky49

    Well-Known Member

    Jul 16, 2011
    You got rule 34 all wrong. ;)
  5. justtrying

    Active Member

    Mar 9, 2011
    34 rules too many :p
  6. maxpower097

    Well-Known Member

    Feb 20, 2009
    I differ on a couple of em but the list is solid. +1

    Funny about the prego chicks cause I nearly blew that one by about 1 second. Luckily my mind said NO before my lips started moving.
  7. loosewire

    AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 25, 2008
    Rule # 36 - take a picture of your self in the ocean,the fountain of youth.

    Rule # 37 - Look out for "Loose Change"