Understanding women

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by magnet18, Feb 14, 2011.

  1. magnet18

    Thread Starter Senior Member

    Dec 22, 2010
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    I found this funny, and it almost goes along with Valentines day, might give you a laugh.

     
  2. tom66

    Senior Member

    May 9, 2009
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    Hehe. :)

    Even though I am sceptical of religion, I can see the humour.

    I think the same goes for both sexes though.
     
  3. spinnaker

    AAC Fanatic!

    Oct 29, 2009
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    An oldie but a goodie. :)


    One day God looked upon the earth and he became very upset. It seems all he created did not go as planned. You know that free will thing. He was sad to see that man was no longer head of the family.


    He called St. Peter into his office and said "St. Peter, I have an assignment for you. I want you to have all of the men of the earth form two lines. One line will be the men that are the master of their family. The other line will be the men where the wife is head of the family".

    St. Peter gathered all of the men of the earth as instructed. The line where the woman was the head of the family stretched on farther than the eye can see. The line where the man was head of the family had just one man.

    God looked upon the earth and said, "I created man to be the master of the family. All of you men in this line have greatly disappointed me"! He then addressed the man standing in the line alone, "Man, tell the other men of this earth why you deserve to stand in this place of great honor".

    The man replied "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here". :)
     
    Andreas likes this.
  4. cjdelphi

    New Member

    Mar 26, 2009
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    Being British I tend to follow more British comedy than American but both can be Very good and both can be very crap, I just tend to think that in America there's less decent comedy but every now and then a gem shines and they are amazingly funny and one such guy said something along the lines of this... Comedians you have to love them or try lol so it goes a little like this without quoting word for word. -----

    Ok i've decided never try and work out or resolve an argument at the time of an argument, it simply not possible please don't do it, When i got home I felt pretty bad watching my wife and child walk home especially with that huge sack of potatoes..

    So please don't resolve the arguments at the time calm down then talk, it seems I was completely in the wrong, when my wife threw her keys at me and yelled at me I was the biggest loser she'd ever known... when infact what the wife was actually trying to say was...

    "Oh hunny i've had such a bad day, i'm tired and irritable and i've had a really really bad day, and when i threw the keys at you, what i was really saying was... I just need a big hug'

    Talking of which, the wife believes in leaving the tap on when she goes on holiday so she can drown any burglars who break in, when we got back from holiday the water was over 5ft high in the basement so we went down to check out the damage

    There was so much water I almost fell off my wife's shoulders!
     
  5. mbohuntr

    Active Member

    Apr 6, 2009
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    I miss Benny Hill, It was our favorite. :D
     
  6. bertus

    Administrator

    Apr 5, 2008
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  7. loosewire

    AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 25, 2008
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    @ Bertus,tell us about a famous funny guy from your country.
    I may have heard of one but don't remember,or famous singers
    male or female that came to America and made it big.
     
  8. Georacer

    Moderator

    Nov 25, 2009
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    I didn't find it funny. I 'm not especially fond of practical jokes. Black humour and irony suit me better.
     
  9. nerdegutta

    Moderator

    Dec 15, 2009
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    I'm also missing Benny Hill. I remember many ROFL watching his shows...

    A famous from the Netherlands: try Vincent van Gogh...
     
  10. Markd77

    Senior Member

    Sep 7, 2009
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    There's also Ruud van Nistelrooy, Johannes Diderik van der Waals and Alex and Eddie van Halen.
     
  11. loosewire

    AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 25, 2008
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    @Georacer,what is black humor.
     
  12. Wendy

    Moderator

    Mar 24, 2008
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    Any humor that has tragedy as the punch line, usually involving people dying.
     
  13. jpanhalt

    AAC Fanatic!

    Jan 18, 2008
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    I can't see a "wet paint" sign without thinking of his show and a particular skit. That was a long time ago.

    John

    PS: Imagine some guys standing in front of the sign who assumed that "wet" was a verb.
     
  14. magnet18

    Thread Starter Senior Member

    Dec 22, 2010
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    the best guitarist EVER! :D
    Never heard of the others....
     
  15. loosewire

    AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 25, 2008
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    @ John, The post is wet now.
     
  16. jpanhalt

    AAC Fanatic!

    Jan 18, 2008
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    Hey, if you get damp when you laugh, we can fix it.
    John
     
  17. loosewire

    AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 25, 2008
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    It wasn't windy,what could it be. I like my sign for the business in the rear.
    "Beware Of Falling Bullets" it confounds them,while they try to figture it out
    the police is pulling up.
     
  18. VoodooMojo

    Active Member

    Nov 28, 2009
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    just when I started thinking you had culture, learning and taste....
     
  19. magnet18

    Thread Starter Senior Member

    Dec 22, 2010
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    On second thought, there are probably better, but I still have no idea who the others were.

    As for taste, I have Dr. Pepper and limitless amounts of streaming whatever music I feel like.
    All is well. :)
     
  20. VoodooMojo

    Active Member

    Nov 28, 2009
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    Dr Pepper is good.... start streaming great guitar player performances and explore the world of musical virtuosity. Nothing at all wrong with Van Halen but we shouldn't be amazed by a sliver when there is a vast forest of genius to behold.


    Steve Vai is a favorite of mine by the way.
    as well as Segovia and Reinhardt
     
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