~ THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY ~

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by SgtWookie, Sep 26, 2008.

  1. SgtWookie

    Thread Starter Expert

    Jul 17, 2007
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    Law of Mechanical Repair
    After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

    Law of Gravity
    Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

    Law of Probability
    The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    Law of Random Numbers
    If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

    Law of the Alibi
    If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
    the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

    Law of Variation
    If you change lanes (traffic lanes), the one you were in before will
    always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

    Law of the Bath
    When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

    Law of Close Encounters
    The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you
    are with someone you don't want to be seen with .

    Law of the Result
    When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

    Law of Biomechanics
    The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    Law of the Theater
    At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

    The Starbucks Law
    As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to
    do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

    Murphy's Law of Lockers
    If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    Law of Physical Surfaces
    The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor
    covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

    Law of Logical Argument
    Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

    Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
    If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

    Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
    A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    Wilson 's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
    As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

    Good Food Law
    The better something tastes, the greater the probability that it is bad for you.

    (This is basically in jest, but much truth is presented.)
     
  2. silvrstring

    Active Member

    Mar 27, 2008
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    I have to make a poster of this. Is it yours?
     
  3. gerty

    AAC Fanatic!

    Aug 30, 2007
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    The law of wiring a 3 phase motor: you have a 50% chance of getting the direction right the first time, and it will be wrong 75% of the time....
     
  4. SgtWookie

    Thread Starter Expert

    Jul 17, 2007
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    It is anyone's who has ever experienced any of these events. :)
     
  5. SgtWookie

    Thread Starter Expert

    Jul 17, 2007
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    I beg your pardon - You have a 66.666...% chance of getting the direction right the first time, but you will be correct only 33.333...% percent of the time ;)
     
  6. bertus

    Administrator

    Apr 5, 2008
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  7. loosewire

    AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 25, 2008
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    These Laws we can go back and read from time to time,I
    think every one can relate to your view of the Law of average.
     
  8. Dave

    Retired Moderator

    Nov 17, 2003
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    Good work Wook! The above 3 are guarantees for me, particularly the Law of Variation - I just don't shift lanes now, I just sit it out! :D

    Dave
     
  9. jpanhalt

    AAC Fanatic!

    Jan 18, 2008
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    Sorry, there are only two directions the motor can turn. It's 50%.

    John
     
  10. cumesoftware

    Senior Member

    Apr 27, 2007
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    Good post SgtWookie!

    I guess it all resumes to the Essential Law of Bad Luck that happens to rule the universe. :D:D:D

    I guess you will still have 50% chance to get the direction right. Suppose that you have three wires A B C, that you wire to L1, L2 and L3 terminals of the motor by that order:
    - A B C, B C A and C A B will rotate the motor to one direction;
    - C B A, A C B and B A C will rotate the motor in the opposite direction.

    In reality, you will have more chances to wire it wrong. At least in that part we agree.
     
    Last edited: Sep 27, 2008
  11. studiot

    AAC Fanatic!

    Nov 9, 2007
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    And I always thought there were three

    Either the rotor can spin one way or the other or it can stay still (and the stator will turn because you forgot to bolt it down)
     
  12. scubasteve_911

    Senior Member

    Dec 27, 2007
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    Very funny, I laughed :)
     
  13. cumesoftware

    Senior Member

    Apr 27, 2007
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    It would be funny to watch a stator, along with the motor chassis, rotating on itself.
     
  14. cumesoftware

    Senior Member

    Apr 27, 2007
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    I have a good one, creation of mine:

    The probability of an elevator to break down will be directly proportional to the number of passengers currently inside it.

    Either that or to the number of calls yet to attend.
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2008
  15. pkennedy

    Active Member

    Feb 27, 2009
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    thats great stuff! I am a victim of the one about the grease on your hands
     
  16. leftyretro

    Active Member

    Nov 25, 2008
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    Screwdrivers come in two common flavors, + and -. The longer the walk from where you keep your screwdrivers to where the work is, the more likely the chance you brought the wrong one.

    Lefty
     
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2009
  17. pkennedy

    Active Member

    Feb 27, 2009
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    what about the * screwdriver aka the torx
     
  18. leftyretro

    Active Member

    Nov 25, 2008
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    Tork bits come in sizes so unlikely one would just grab one and run. ;)
     
  19. Dave

    Retired Moderator

    Nov 17, 2003
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    There is a further part to that rule: when you need a posi-head driver (i.e. a + head) you can only find a flat-head driver (i.e. a - head), and vice versa.

    Dave
     
  20. Wendy

    Moderator

    Mar 24, 2008
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    Another corollary, if you have the right screwdriver, in every dimension, the screw head will likely break off.

    If this doesn't happen, it will crossthread and strip on the way back in.
     
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