Regrets of the dying

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by praondevou, Feb 2, 2012.

  1. praondevou

    Thread Starter AAC Fanatic!

    Jul 9, 2011
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  2. MrChips

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    Yes, I told this same story from Bronnie Ware about a year ago as a Toastmasters speech. Very touching and inspiring.
     
  3. justtrying

    Active Member

    Mar 9, 2011
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    Yes, and it's not about to change... time spent at work is time you will never get back, even if its work you love, it is still work nothing more
     
  4. loosewire

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    Apr 25, 2008
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    We need more people like sarg,..sticking in there, carrying his courage

    with him..(his laptop) and reporting the odds. Being in charge,taking

    charge of his care. Having a great sister in his fox hole,(the hospital).

    Loosewire
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2012
  5. R!f@@

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    Not mine....may be yours
     
  6. Brownout

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    Should we not consider the last line?

     
  7. MrChips

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    I think the greatest regrets will be not having said "I'm sorry" to someone and "I love you" to someone special.
     
  8. Brownout

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    I was just thinking... I will regret not being better to the people who matter, and expending too much time and energy on those who don't matter. I already regret it. A change who's time has come...
     
  9. MrChips

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    Come to think of it, when you die you wouldn't regret anything. It is only in the dying moments when you realize it's almost game over and then you wish you had done differently. I don't know since I haven't tried this experiment as yet.
     
  10. R!f@@

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    When u die, u cannot think but only see the whole life u lived flash with in seconds and the pain of ur soul ripping from ur body.

    No time for regrets my friends.
     
  11. praondevou

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    They talk about your last days/weeks/months. Plenty of time to regret, especially if you are ill, old or handicapped.

    Time is now to live your life in order not to regret it later. For those who have the choice.
     
  12. steveb

    Senior Member

    Jul 3, 2008
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    My sister passed away last May at the (too young) age of 44. She had no symptoms until she got some pain in her abdomen. Within a few weeks she was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer and was given about 6 weeks to live. This 6 weeks turned out to be an accurate estimate, and she weakened quickly and died. She was given some options at treatments that had an ultra-low probability of success and a certainty of great suffering. She chose to die with what she perceived to be dignity.

    Her main concern was for how everyone else would deal with this tragedy, and she was content with her life and accepted her fate without a single complaint. I'm sure she had a few regrets, but none enough to bother her. Her remaining time allowed her to say the things she needed to say to anyone important to her.

    I mention this because I spent every day with her for these 6 weeks. Some days it was for only an hour. Other days it was for 6 or 8 hours. And, there were a few all-nighters with her at the hospital. This time was very precious, and we didn't waste it with sad thoughts and crying. We laughed and pondered some deep thoughts about life and death.

    I did a quick calculation of the quality time we spent together in these final 6 weeks, and compared that to our past 25 years seeing each other only on holidays and having quick 5 minute phone calls. Projecting forward in time, in the balance, it seems that if we both lived into our 80s, we might not have had even these quality hours together. I call that poignant irony, but that is how our fast paced world can make us live at times.

    In memory of my sister, I'd like to say that, aside from the above valuable lesson I learned at so great an expense, I learned two other important things. First, despite knowing her for 44 years, it was only at the end that I realized that she is the bravest person I will ever meet. Second, I now know how I will choose to face my own death, whenever it may come.
     
    1chance likes this.
  13. praondevou

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    Thanks for these thoughts. Very sad that your sister died so young.
     
  14. Ratuk29

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    Jan 22, 2012
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    Thanks for sharing. Makes you rethink your priorities...
     
  15. GetDeviceInfo

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    Jun 7, 2009
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    I too have had the gracious opportunity to spend the last days with several loved ones. I don't agree with the subject matter of the thread however. Regret is not an emotion that is common with the dying. Humility, reconciliation, and acceptance is prominant. Regret is an emotion of the living, not the dying.

    I am not religious, but I did strike a kinship with a practioner of Christ during my fathers terminal illness. While preciding over my father's services this man made this comment, 'Imagine yourself standing on a precipece and you find yourself falling over the edge to certain death. As you tumble down, you instinctively try to grab onto anything that may save you. This is how many come to God.'

    Regret is not a saviour. It's sensational reporting.
     
  16. loosewire

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    Apr 25, 2008
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    There was a priest reading to a family member,after a half hour he asked

    for someone to continue the readings.There were nuns there they did not

    come forward,so I took the book holding the persons hand,I learned something

    Important from that experience.Some people wonder about Loosewire and what

    he really is.Well Its life experience,when I was reading the book,it was not a bible.

    It was a book use by the priest at a death bed,when I was reading the words I was holding

    the hand of the person,I was told the person did not know what was going on,the

    room was full of waiting people.So when I was reading when I would say certain

    words my hand would be squeesed, I didn't say anything,but I knew I was doing

    a good thing and read longer than anyone expected. It made people in the room think

    why I was reading so long,I read until I felt peace of mind in my hand.
     
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