Pride And Tact, Do You Have It

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by loosewire, Nov 20, 2011.

  1. loosewire

    Thread Starter AAC Fanatic!

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    Define it if you can.................In your own words.
     
  2. GetDeviceInfo

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    don't forget the quality that makes it worthwhile, compasion.
     
  3. maxpower097

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    tact = is etiquette in a certain circumstance.
    Pride = is basically feeling proud of yourself, or a group of lions.

    An example of tact would be to get invited to a party and not goto the restroom and steal all the medications out of the bathroom. Or don't double dip a corn chip in dip.
     
  4. Adjuster

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    These are two different qualities, not necessarily found together, and indeed tact may lead us to restrain our expression of pride.

    Pride is not always a positive thing. It can describe pleasure obtained from possessing genuine abilities, good qualities or achievements, in which case it may be a valid thing to feel, but taken to excess it can become negative, even more so if somebody feels falsely proud in qualities they do not really possess. Some people regard pride in this sense as a sin. Tact requires us to moderate what we say or do to respect other people's feelings. This is usually regarded positively, although it may sometimes lead to us fudging the issue, or not telling the full truth sometimes.

    These things tend to pull in opposite directions. Suppose for instance that you have just obtained a very good result in an examination. Feeling justifiably proud (as you tell yourself), you may want to tell all your friends about it, but if you happen to know someone who has failed exams, tact might lead you to avoid doing this in their presence. An overly proud person may even tend to show off in front of people less fortunate than they are, and might be criticised for showing a lack of tact.

    I am certain that I often behave tactlessly. These days there is not much left for me to feel proud about, but as a younger person I had a rather inflated idea of myself. What a shame that we often only see these things so late in the day.
     
  5. loosewire

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    Compasion,I have told the story of walking into Memorial and walking up
    to the widow,taking her hand. Only the widow knowing the person paying there
    respects. Wondering who it is that,the widow knows and thats what counts.
    Try being respectful,Its good for you.
     
  6. Adjuster

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    I would think that stealing the medications out of someone's bathroom would be the action of somebody lacking more than tact. Where I come from, somebody who can't refrain from petty thievery is thought of as worse than merely tactless.

    Or is this another example of different American and British English Usage?
     
  7. Georacer

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    Nov 25, 2009
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    Pride - Sure, I have it, maybe too much for my own good, making me not accept help when I should.

    Tact - Oh, I love that notion. I like how etiquette can make you seem distinguished in some occasions and circumstances. It is also hilarious when you completely disregard a person's strict understanding of rules and musts on purpose, just to irritate them.
     
  8. loosewire

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    Right on...Georacer, the greeks should know.
     
  9. maxpower097

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    I do live in a mob run town.
     
  10. Georacer

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    Your post could be interpreted both in a good and a bad way. I 'll choose the one that suits me.
     
  11. loosewire

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    Clever Moderator,I say.
     
  12. strantor

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    I think that was his version of your idea:
    I have a lot of inward pride; I don't flaunt it. When I **** excellence, and I know I pissed excellence, I give myself a big pat on the back that lasts all day, maybe more. This inspires me to **** more excellence. Its an ongoing cycle that carries me through periods of high productivity. If I get stuck on something or I fail, the cycle is broken and I go through a cycle of low productivity until I have the opportunity to **** excellence once again. It always helps if someone else gives me a pat on the back too; really strokes my ego. But as I said, I don't flaunt it; usually I am very modest and only have something to say if/when someone finds my puddle of excellence and questions me about it.

    As far as tact goes, short of making sexual and racial comments that can get me in trouble, I usually find myself straddling the border of what is tactful and what is not. In my mind, being "on-edge" lightens the mood (for me) - but you have to know who you are dealing with. makes some people uncomfortable. I'm not sure if I do this consciously or subconsciously, but at some level it's intentional.
     
  13. loosewire

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    Loosewire's mind at work,to make you think.
     
  14. THE_RB

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    Pride is not necessarily bad, although it can be. What confuses me is people's perception (or inference) of "arrogance". My woman often accuses me of arrogance, if I think I'm better than someone else.

    But what is arrogance? If someone is 8 feet tall and thinks they are taller than other people, are they arrogant? Probably not. Or if Tiger Woods thinks he is a better golfer than others is he arrogant?

    I've done lots of quantifying in my life, weightlifting (quantifying how strong I am) martial arts training, motorcycle racing training, intellectual training, specific skills training etc. So I work on my abilites, analysing and quantifying how good I am. So when is it arrogance? To think you are better than others even when you actually are? Or to think you are better than others only in those cases when you are not?

    The best conclusion I have come to is that it is perceptual, a bigoted and very human social construct. If the observer doesn't like you then your pride is arrogance. But if the observer likes you (or feels empathy/sympathy) then you are "allowed" to be proud. The underdog is allowed pride while the true superior is not. People are weird. ;)

    And "tact" is a little clicky button you buy from electronics stores. ;)
     
  15. strantor

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    RB, I am 100% aligned with your thinking on the topic. however, I think when pride becomes vocal, or overly vocal, that is when it is "bad". You can know you are the best, and maybe even say it if asked about it, but if you make it a point to go around and make sure that everyone else knows you are the best, that is the "bad" part.

    Less on the topic of superiority in skills, and more in overall superiority, I have pondered it before after hearing someone say (not to or about me, just overheard) "do you think you are better than me?!?!", and also when I hear someone say something to the effect of "everybody is equal" or "all men are created equal". Is everybody really equal? I'm pretty sure you could come up with a million different ways to "score" people on a million different attributes, and in every instance, there would be some people who are always at the top, and some who are always at the bottom. Compare:
    guy A: Lazy criminal Sells drugs instead of working an honest job. Does not support his litter of illegitimate children. guilty of just about every petty crime. calls his momma all kinds of bad words and slaps her around (because he still lives with her)
    Guy B: Motivated straight shooter worked his way through college, married and faithful for 20+ years, Gives to charity, loving father, bla bla bla you get it.

    is it really a stretch to say that guy B is better than guy A?
     
  16. THE_RB

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    That's an interesting change in direction away from pride or arrogance.

    I think "better" is definitely quantitative when in a narrow context. It's easily a fact if someone is a better golfer than you or a better mathematician than me, or has better eyesight or is better with money etc.

    But when that context becomes so very wide as in "person" ie "better person" than I think it becomes largely perceptual again. If in your perception helping people is very important you would rate Mother Teresa as a "better person" than Bill Gates. But what if in your perception making money and computer software was very important you may rate Bill Gates as the better person?

    And in a group discussion there would probably be a social or common consensus so that the perception would be from the majority. So to answer your specific question in this social group of electronics people who are generally honest and hardworking they would most likely agree to the generalisation that the college educated hard working father was a "better person" than the lazy momma-slappin' drug dealer.

    But a bunch of prison inmates might disagree...
     
  17. steveb

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    I know people that are proud that they have no tact. :)
     
  18. loosewire

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    I am proud to be a member of this Forum.This is my home place.
    I like the members of this Forum,we have a little of every thing.
    I am thankful of the member that understand from it takes to have
    a good Forum.
     
  19. steveb

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    You show good tact.

    ... and good taste too, i might add !!! :p
     
  20. maxpower097

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    and then some, just goto the social services dept in your local district/town/province. They just canned my insurance because I made over $500 last month on the books, meanwhile while I'm straightening all this out, all the people getting food stamps and wellfare all have ipad2's. For the record I don't get food stamps, or any assistance from the gov. All I have is local county insurance for emergencies.
     
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2011
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