Need some advice

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by R!f@@, Jun 1, 2011.

  1. R!f@@

    Thread Starter AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 2, 2009
    I have fallen, or rather, well, u can say risen to the state of ultimate responsibility.

    With great powers comes great responsibility's, even though I am on the verge of great responsibilities I have yet to find the great power that leads it.

    I need mature advice and suggestions on this matter, I am asking everyone, which includes ya' ol' timers :D.

    As you know I, we are building our house and is almost half way and we have exhausted all the bank accounts.
    It came to this that we should take loan and like I said before it got approved.

    What I never anticipated was my Dad's blood pressure.

    It shot into his head. He got cold feet and nausea. Why ? Cause, the governments approved our 1.5mil loan. He is having doubts that he would never repay it and this would of course torment him even in his grave.
    What he never gave a second thought on was that the kids are behind him to repay the loan.

    Oh well !!! that Incident passed away and he never took took the loan.
    months went by.
    He manage to convince our aunts husband to get a bank loan approval and this guy is really nice. He even lend some money to get the work going while we process the bank loan.
    Why bank loan ? lower interest. If we were to pay the first one in 20 year installments, we would have paid double the amount. Even I never thought of that, no wonder Dad almost fainted.

    So now, the bank loan got approved, two day's later his blood pressure hit the the ceiling. Same thing, same nasty thoughts and chilled spines.

    I just Sigh ! ..what to do...
    The work is going on slowly since around half a mil was lent by Aunt.

    We, the kids, decided to make him happy and to get the loan from Islamic bank which dies not take interests but they only provide 80% of the amount and we have to keep 20% in their bank as collateral.

    Since Dollar rate went high, building materials price has doubled even though the stock these m******rs had was old and has got nothing to do with the current events.
    So, after recalculating everything thing, he had to make increase the loan amount due to price soaring.

    This time his blood pressure shot thru my ceiling, and I live one floor above.

    What to do,..what to do....

    He get's cold feet every time, even now about the things that makes me giggle. I am more aware of things than any one else in the family.

    So I decided to take his stress off him, since I can cope with stress far better than any one ... :cool:.

    The problem is HOW ?
    How do I relieve his tension ?
    How do I take away his stress ?

    I want him to be tense free from everything but How can I do that...
    I am willing to do anything.

    He is the legal owner of Our Land. So he has all the power. I cannot do anything if he refuses, this is the law here.
    He, being owner has to deal with the loan and it's repayments and talk to well u know, contractors.

    What to do ....oh what to do......?
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2011
  2. Georacer


    Nov 25, 2009
    I don't feel like I can provide any safe advice here. I just hope that you and your father get along well and can understand each other. Family quarrels over financial issues are terrible.
  3. loosewire

    AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 25, 2008
    You already have the loan,you build so every one a roof over there head.
    You and your father talk about how to rough out the rest of the project with
    the money you have.You can do a lot of the work yourself,you are very
    at building.We have watched some of your work.Your father knows you
    are very Intelligent and he belives in you.So father and son and family
    should talk this out. Try to find recycled materials,are you doing the
    remodeling yourself. You have a good type of loan,so tell us more.
    What are you trying to do,rebuild the house. A little progress every day
    will bring down father blood pressure.Ask him what he would like to see
    finished next,let his eye's guild his heart.You can do It,you always come thur.
    Your story is getting things done,that the riaff we know and respect.
  4. R!f@@

    Thread Starter AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 2, 2009
    We have been approved for a loan of 1.5 mil three different times and dad is hesitant.
    We do not have enuf to continue now.

    I guess it's time for me to take some time to show u all the pics.

    We do qaurrel when he disagree to take the loan.
    I do not have any issue to take the loan, if it was me, I would take 3 mil.
    We being, capital land owners is fortunate, since we have two lands and ths is a very good thing when land is scares here.

    I have plenty of ways to get thinhgs done but dad does not let me do things my way.
    So, how can I make him understand ?
  5. Georacer


    Nov 25, 2009
    Is he a rational guy? Do you have any solid plan to repay those loans back?
    If both are true, try to present it to him.

    Also, to my experience, continuous and insisting pleas sometimes work better than one-shot well-founded proofs. Keep that in mind too.
  6. GetDeviceInfo

    Senior Member

    Jun 7, 2009
    you've not mentioned some critical considerations. What is the ratio of required (borrowed) monies to your (father's) equity in the land. Is your father sole title holder. What is the current market estimate of the completed project. I would be reluctant to bring anyone else in on title, which would almost surely be the case for private investment.
  7. Wendy


    Mar 24, 2008
    History also counts. My Dad and Granddad both saw the Great Depression from different points of view. It left its mark on each. I don't know what your Dad has seen, you might talk with him sometime. This could be an opportunity to get to know him better.

    Trust me on this, you will miss him intensely when he is gone.
  8. loosewire

    AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 25, 2008
    I think you need to give a lot consideration to your dad's wisdom.
    He has spent his whole life there ,maybe he knows the people
    for a long time.Paying back money is tough right now,money
    is a problem world wide.Think about a happy family,we have fathers
    day coming here in June.Every one is watching the money they
    have and don't have.Think about the wisdom thing,don't push your father
    for what you want.He has the whole family to look after.You say supplies
    are going up,back off and think about the money to be paid back.
    You don't want to lose the family property,it has been in the family for years.
    If your father is happy in a rocking chair,let him relax.
  9. mbohuntr

    Active Member

    Apr 6, 2009
    It's all about money flow. If you realistically crunch the numbers and can easily make the payments with your income, and can survive random catastrophic events such as illness and loss of that income, you are in good shape. If you can manage that debt load easily, and your dad is still hesitant, consider buying him out. If not, he may be wiser than you think. If you can, also consider saving the money and paying cash by doing the work in stages.
  10. R!f@@

    Thread Starter AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 2, 2009
    Thanks guys, you give a lot of comfort, feels nice to be a part of this community.

    We have spend almost a million on the foundation and up to third floor. Market estimate is around 10 million. So we qualify for a loan of 2 atleast from everyone that provides them and our repayment or monthly installment to repay plus interest is easy cause everybody in my family has jobs that of a high class society. You can say we can in that category but we do not live fancy as we believe in saving.
    This is why we were able to live with a family of 6 and save up to a million in say 25 years. This is hard earned money of our sweat. There isn't a simple penny that does not belong to us. That is why father hesitates in giving interest as it is not right in our faith and he is religious. Not devoted but religious.

    I did talk to him long and finally he sees eye to eye to me and is going to go on with my plan.
    We are going for a loan of 1.6 mill, with a down payment of around 50,000.00 for 20 years, but I believe I can finish it with in a decade as per my plan.

    Dad is is owner of the one land we have, which is around 635 sq. feet. It is small but it is gold here. So that is why we planned to make a it 7 floors, as up is the only way we can go.
    Mom too has a piece of land around 450 sq, feet. we are living in it right now.

    We consider our selves lucky and thank God for providing us a lot of our own.
    Many has come to buy it, with handsome prices, like say 5 mill per land. But we cannot sell as this is our's from generations.

    We will be in a tight situation for a year or so ones we touch the loan as saving will be almost impossible.

    Our family's annual income is around 480,000.00. But this is me excluded as I don't have a definite figure of income. As I sometimes bring around 30 thou a month if I hit a jackpot.
    Last year alone was alone 150,000.00. Although these figures a good, we spent a lot on fixing this house to move. And there was government fee's and God knows what else.
    The more we get, the more we seem to spent.

    But all is good and me and dad sometimes get's on our edge but we do get along fine now.
    As now we have come to an agreement on how to do things as I have taken the lead in taking responsibilities.

    One thing I don't understand is he some how thinks we will get rid of him or throw him out once we get hold of the house or land.
    I even do not think of doing that, do you think I am capable of doing such low acts.

    He is handicapped and uneducated but he never gave up on me or my kins on giving us the best of education this country can provide, I remember him doing all sorts odd jobs, which I can guarantee was for us. So how can I live without them , when I can never live without my brothers and sis.

    Somebody is corrupting his mind cause the way I see it he hesitates in believing in me.
    Since I learned to keep cool in angry situations he has started to listen to me. As I remain cool and keep my voice down he listens. :)

    I believe I am living up to my signature. :cool:

    I am resizing the house picture folder and uploading them.
    Will update them here
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2011
  11. Georacer


    Nov 25, 2009
    Old people aren't just weak in body. More often than not their mind weakens too, making them follow irrational pahts of thoughts and fixating on the weirdest things. It is my belief that at this point the elderly must be treated as handicapped and persons dependant on others.

    And a word to the wise: Avoid declaring your financial stats without good reason, even orally. It can't hurt you.
  12. R!f@@

    Thread Starter AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 2, 2009
    Can you elaborate.
  13. Georacer


    Nov 25, 2009
    I mean you don't need to post your family' income since it is not necessary. You said you could pay your loan and we believe you.
    Where I come from, how much you make is considered a very private information and for good reason in my opinion.
  14. shortbus

    AAC Fanatic!

    Sep 30, 2009
    Have you considered just borrowing enough to get the house weather tight? The interior can then be done as it can be afforded.

    You can live in a house without a finished interior. I mean without drywall and decorations for a while until it can be finished. Even doing one room at a time.
  15. R!f@@

    Thread Starter AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 2, 2009
    Oh....I or rather we do not have anything to hide, besides, here everybody knows everyone's income... How much you saved is something else.

    I do not have problems like the rest of you when it comes to sharing income or family earnings. We do not have a tax problem yet. It is being implemented. Ones the whole things is in effect, our income will drop to sea level. :D.

    Hey did you guys know that our tin-tin president has canceled import duty on Solar panels and anything and everything related to Carbon neutral mambo jumbo...I mean, if what ever I buy is related to free energy conversion thingy I can get it in without import duty.

    I guess it's time to buy some tie grid inverters and everything that comes with it...I am going to have a blast in making my house carbon neutral or whatever...:cool:
  16. loosewire

    AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 25, 2008
    Do you have a oil burning power station on Male'.Do you use any propane.
    Do you have a large ship port for oil tankers,In other words how do you get lights
    and water. Do the big air buses land there.Do you get visits from the U.S.
    fleet for shore leave. Do you have a down town business district.Do you have
    big hospital with emergency room.