Marriage - Is it worth it?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by jaygatsby, Feb 10, 2013.

  1. jaygatsby

    Thread Starter New Member

    Nov 23, 2011
    185
    23
    After years of saying I wasn't going to do that to myself, I found a girl that I want to marry. Bizarre...

    Is it worth it? Weigh the ups, vs the downs.... I'm about to get cold feet.

    J
     
  2. Sparky49

    Active Member

    Jul 16, 2011
    834
    417
    ................
     
    Last edited: Feb 10, 2013
    jaygatsby likes this.
  3. takao21203

    Distinguished Member

    Apr 28, 2012
    3,577
    463
    You may ask that on grasscity in the sexuality thread.

    You may even encounter the one or the other pirate wannabe who still depends on his Mutha (refering to your post in another thread).

    This is a technology forum in case you have not yet noticed.
     
  4. jaygatsby

    Thread Starter New Member

    Nov 23, 2011
    185
    23
    This is the 'off-topic' forum... but I laweled at your post :)
     
  5. takao21203

    Distinguished Member

    Apr 28, 2012
    3,577
    463
    I am just telling you, you may receive much more replies, and you may meet a counterpart of yours. Who appreciates your family references.

    I am certainly not getting emotional about that. If someone talks like that, it is a self-reference in the first instance.

    Cheers.
     
    jaygatsby likes this.
  6. Metalmann

    Active Member

    Dec 8, 2012
    700
    223
    You could always ask those Hollywood stars who've been married a few hundred times.;)
     
  7. jaygatsby

    Thread Starter New Member

    Nov 23, 2011
    185
    23
    Not encouraging :(
     
    Metalmann likes this.
  8. thatoneguy

    AAC Fanatic!

    Feb 19, 2009
    6,357
    718
    About a decade ago, ½ of marriages ended in divorce.

    Today I think it's in the low 60% region, with 40% not even making it 2 years.

    Best to have a Looong engagement (3-5 years) to decide.
     
  9. jaygatsby

    Thread Starter New Member

    Nov 23, 2011
    185
    23
    A buddy of mine lived with his girlfriend for years. Then he got married. For his wedding gift, I got him a gift card. He divorced soon thereafter (I think less than a year!)

    I want my gift card back...
     
  10. monster_catfish

    Active Member

    Mar 17, 2011
    110
    107
    The late Zsa Zsa Gabor, famous for getting married repeatedly well into her middle age, was quoted as saying that marriage was way too special of a treat to enjoy just once.
     
  11. jaygatsby

    Thread Starter New Member

    Nov 23, 2011
    185
    23
    Didn't she also slap a cop? They should have shot her. But only after Green Acres...
     
  12. maxpower097

    Well-Known Member

    Feb 20, 2009
    795
    388
    Being a single man or women is much more expensive then being married. They say its about 1 million in a lifetime. With tax breaks, 2 incomes, etc.. From a financial standpoint if she works and has ok credit your far better off married.
     
  13. THE_RB

    AAC Fanatic!

    Feb 11, 2008
    5,435
    1,305
    Of course marriage is worth it!

    You get the wedding you've always dremed of where you can dress your friends up like pretty dolls, pick all the flowers, and wear a $5000 dress of your dreams that will never be worn again.

    You get to secure the man of your dreams, who will go to work for you and bring home lots of money so you can sit around all day deciding what colours to paint all the rooms on your next whim.

    You get to have lovers and boyfriends while your husband is away at his job working for you, and when you get bored of your husband in 1-2 years you can run off with the best boyfriend, and then you get the house, 3/4 of the money and your exhusband has to send you money every month after that.

    Marriage is REALY REALLY REALLY worth it! :D

    Oh hang on... Were you asking if it is worth it for the MAN? :eek:
     
    maxpower097, #12 and amilton542 like this.
  14. justtrying

    Active Member

    Mar 9, 2011
    329
    341
    WoW... when you put it like that, anybody wants to get married before I change my mind :eek:
     
  15. WBahn

    Moderator

    Mar 31, 2012
    17,715
    4,788
    The "half of all marriages end in divorce" claim stems from a single paper from the 1970's that based the claim on the observation of the number of marriage certificates versus divoce decrees filed in a single county recorder's office. It got wide media coverage and was instantly accepted as the common wisdom.

    The truth, of course, is much different and much more complicated. First, you have to segregate the data into first, second, third, and so on marriages. Think about five couples that get married and four of them stay married their entire life. But one couple gets divorced and then each person gets married and divoced two more times. Within that group of 10 people, you now have nine marriages five of which ended in divorce. Walla, more than half of all marriages end in divorce! But is that an accurate depiction given that 80% of first marriages lasted a lifetime? It doesn't take very many "repeat offenders" to really skew that overall numbers and how many of us can point to relatives and friends that are on their third or fourth marriage? It takes a lot of other people that stick in their first marriage to compensate.

    My understanding is that about 30% of first marriages end in divorce and that most that do end do so in the first ten years. But even within this group there are sharp disparities between groups. Couples that are poor or marry young have a higher rate (even higher if poor and young) while couples that marry later and have established themselves financially have a first-marriage divorce rate under 10%. There was a pretty good size study that came out a number of years ago that looked at lots of different factors and how they related to marital stability. It identified five that played a very significant role, statistically, and found that the divorce rate among people that dealt with all five before the wedding, even if it wasn't a first marraige, had an extremely low divorce rate. I'm going off of memory here, so bear that in mind, and I'm not even going to try to list them in order. The first was simply waiting until both were over the age of 25 and had at least a high school education and, if they went to college, had completed their bachelors even if they were going beyond that. A second was if couples that received quality, in-depth premarial counciling that touched all aspects of life together. A third was making sure that the couple were in agreement regarding money issues, particularly if they were committed to getting and staying out of debt. Fourth was having a clear understanding and acceptance on what each person wanted as far as children was concerned. And finally was being in agreement regarding religion. The last two didn't require that the couples share the same desires regarding kids and religion, just that both parties understood how the other felt and that both had come to an understanding of what they were trying to achieve as a couple, even if it might not be what either would have really wanted on their own. It was somewhat surprising, though not as much as it might seem at first, that couples can agree to disagree on how many kids they are going to have and what their religious upbringing will be as long as they agree up front that that is acceptable (and then don't go undermining the other party down the road), but that it was important that the couple be of a single mind on the finance issues and actively row in the same direction on that one. Perhaps it's just that money affects almost every aspect of every day and disagreements there cause lingering problems and strife, whereas disagreements elsewhere cause more intermittent and isolated confrontations.
     
    absf, KJ6EAD and tshuck like this.
  16. electron_prince

    Member

    Sep 19, 2012
    93
    3
    yes you should marry her.
     
  17. #12

    Expert

    Nov 30, 2010
    16,252
    6,751
    The women I have picked either mean I'm bad at picking women or they're all crazy.
    Then my friends phone me to ask what the crazy b**** is going to do next, and I tell them, and I'm right, and they thank me. Hmmm...at least I learned a few things along the way. Not how to pick a better woman, just how to cope with the normal ones.
     
  18. maxpower097

    Well-Known Member

    Feb 20, 2009
    795
    388
    It ain't you 12! Its our location. Were in the mecca of gold diggers. I'm always shocked at how nice women are when I get out of the city and to a lesser extent the state. But our city is known for our gold diggers, thus why we have so many high end strip clubs. Women here expect to be taken care of and after many a gf I've found they would prefer to be a mistress thats taken care of rather then go out with someone without a trust fund. But you know this already. :)
     
  19. CVMichael

    Senior Member

    Aug 3, 2007
    416
    17
    Just search on google for "why men don't want to get married", and you will find plenty of links, and a YouTube video exmplaing the down side of getting married.

    I did not want to get married before, but after doing some research, now I REALLY don't want to get married.
     
  20. monster_catfish

    Active Member

    Mar 17, 2011
    110
    107
    Too bad I don't have the moolah to adopt the Hefner Doctrine - Select the year's sleekest models, enjoy their company and smooth handling for a couple of years, then trade them in for new models before they start to develop "character", and, oh yeah, tie the knot every once in a while as a publicity stunt to boost revenue.

    Old Hugh is Da Man fer sure, and I'd eat bug to trade places with him for any length of time. He must be doing something right. Just look how long he's been at it.
     
    maxpower097 likes this.
Loading...