making new friends ?

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by Mathematics!, Mar 31, 2014.

  1. Mathematics!

    Thread Starter Senior Member

    Jul 21, 2008
    1,022
    4
    This question may seem pretty obvious to most but I still struggle with making friends.

    1) When moving to a totally new location how would you go about making new friends and meeting new people. ( I want to know your approaches )

    2) Where would you go to meet new people/ new friends ?
    I would say most people would meet new friends based on where they work or what activities they do for fun ( i.e gym , bowling , sports , movies , bars ,...etc)

    3) Where would you meet a new significant other/girlfriend/intimate relationship? I would imagine it would be no different then question 2 though I don't know if there is a different environment where women like to hangout instead of men. For me I mostly see attractive women at the bars or clubs.

    4) Never really had luck at the online sites or phone dating thing so far but maybe you know of a best option or one that worked for you on these sites or phone dating things.

    5) When approaching a person that you would want to get to know what would you say to a complete stranger to become friends with them or at least get them to/give them the opportunity to become friends with you.

    Would it be as simple is hi my name is xyz would you like to come over and watch the game, Or hi my name is xyz would you like to join me for ...

    And how would you differentiate an ice breaker of a new friend from an ice breaker for a new significant/intimate friend candidate

    Would you just go up to the person and say I think your attractive I want to bone you, or say did you know there are 206 bones in your body want one more... "I doubt it". But I would imagine you would say something / react/body language different from a new intimate friend candidate then from a new non intimate friend candidate.

    6) Also any tips for keeping a conversation going I normally can initiate or approach /introduce my self but I normally can't keep the conversation going partly because I am nervous which hinders my ability to focus on coming up with open ended questions or questions about the environment around us or getting to know the person with out forgetting what they said.


    Ideally my goal is to be able to make new friends where ever I go without a big challenge (i.e not be worried in not being able to make new friends) so I will never be lonely , bored , secluded , have no conversation , or no person near by to talk to/do things with (Basically get to the point that I can choose how lonely , bored , secluded ,...etc I want to be and change that at will based on my ability to make new friends in different areas I am located in)

    So please elaborate I am interested to know why others find this stuff so easy and why I have such a hard time with it.
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2014
  2. ericgibbs

    AAC Fanatic!

    Jan 29, 2010
    2,503
    380
    hi,
    Lasting friendships evolve from the people you meet in your everyday life, you can usually feel some empathy between yourself and another person at your very first meeting, it develops from that point.

    I would never consider actively 'seeking' friendships and I would be wary of any one asking me to be their friend.

    Just be yourself.:)

    E
     
    Zerotolerance likes this.
  3. Wendy

    Moderator

    Mar 24, 2008
    20,766
    2,536
    I tend to look toward my hobbies for common interests. Some people use their church. Like Eric said, be yourself, and be active in the community, and your friends will find themselves.
     
  4. Georacer

    Moderator

    Nov 25, 2009
    5,142
    1,266
    I'd say chat a lot but don't make a big deal out of it. A "good morning" and a "how are you" go a long way.
    You have to walk before you run and chatting is definitely the walking of relations.
    Do it often, fall often, and learn to get better at saying "good morning" in the process.
     
  5. tracecom

    AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 16, 2010
    3,871
    1,394
    Talk less. Listen more.
     
    Brownout likes this.
  6. Zerotolerance

    Member

    Sep 18, 2011
    56
    10
    I could write a book on all your questions. First of all I would be very leary of meeting a respectable woman at a bar/club. If you'd ever like to chat about your questions shoot me a PM or something. Be glad to help out.

    Personality has a lot to do with it. Probably 90%
     
  7. MrChips

    Moderator

    Oct 2, 2009
    12,449
    3,363
    I read a lot in your lines and in between.

    +1 to what all of the others have said.

    1) You don't meet your soul mate in a bar/club.

    2) You don't make a lasting impression on a woman if what you want to do is bone her.

    3) You are probably trying too hard.

    4) Be yourself. Get to know yourself first. Expand your hobbies and interests. Enjoy life first. Let others find you interesting.

    And it doesn't matter if you are in a new or old location. The same applies where ever you go.
     
    Zerotolerance likes this.
  8. Sparky49

    Active Member

    Jul 16, 2011
    834
    417
    I snorted my breakfast cereal through my nose reading this... I hope you're happy. :D:p:eek::D
     
  9. Wendy

    Moderator

    Mar 24, 2008
    20,766
    2,536
    Did it smell good?
     
    shortbus likes this.
  10. Sparky49

    Active Member

    Jul 16, 2011
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    I was too busy trying to breath and figure out whether it would be more proper to snort the cornflakes back in or to sniff them out to pay much attention to smell. :p:D
     
    shortbus likes this.
  11. Brownout

    Well-Known Member

    Jan 10, 2012
    2,375
    998
    You're not gonna meet any new friends that way :)
     
  12. sirch2

    Well-Known Member

    Jan 21, 2013
    1,008
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    Further up the thread someone said "be yourself", reading the above I'd suggest you hold back on that advice...
     
  13. ericgibbs

    AAC Fanatic!

    Jan 29, 2010
    2,503
    380
    Hi Chris,

    In hindsight, looking at the OP's later posts, I would agree with your comment.

    E
     
  14. Sparky49

    Active Member

    Jul 16, 2011
    834
    417
    *Maybe
    *their
    *ass.
     
  15. Metalmann

    Active Member

    Dec 8, 2012
    700
    223
    Y'all should be eating Honey Nut Cheerios, bad things like that don't happen.
     
    Sparky49 likes this.
  16. Sparky49

    Active Member

    Jul 16, 2011
    834
    417
    I suppose the hole would at least allow some breathing room. :D
     
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