I would just like to take a moment to recognize an indispensable and valuable sect of society: Idiots! I love idiots! Correcting the actions of idiots account for >50% of my paycheck. 32 hours of overtime last pay period, all of them I owe to idiots.
Here's an example, from Saturday:
Idiot production supervisor gives idiot operator the passcode for high level parameter access screen on a wire drawing line. Idiot operator does exactly what you would expect an idiot operator to do with that information. Production line comes to a grinding halt. In lieu of proper troubleshooting (including interrogating the operator), Idiot maintenance guy frantically starts replacing sensors and actuators in what he perceives to be the affected area. Nearing the end of his shift and he still hasn't got the line running, idiot maintenance guy calls me in, and times his call so that I arrive 5 minutes after he and the idiot operator have left for the night.
So I have no first-person witnesses to interrogate. I go look for clues and due to the amount of dust settled on this machinery, I can clearly identify a few places where idiot maintenance guy has been. I inspect all the squeaky-clean looking sensors and find some of them are the wrong P/N (0-10mA transducers where there should be 4-20mA sensors). I open up the panels and covers where I see his hand smudges and find that the incorrect parts he replaced, he wired backwards. I correct everything I found so far; basically undoing everything the maintenance guy did, but still no dice.
I talk to the night shift supervisor and tell him I need to speak to the idiots that were involved in the previous shift. Idiot maintenance guy can't be reached, but idiot operator is brought in. He can't speak English, and my idiot translator doesn't seem to understand the role of a translator - that is, to ask the operator exactly what I asked, and tell me exactly the operator said. I know enough Spanish to know that I have an ineffective translator. He seems to think that exercising artistic license with my questions is a good idea; asking things vaguely related to what I asked, but with totally different implications. But my perception from observing the interaction between the operator and the translator is that, as expected, the operator is putting up a wall because he senses an cloud of accusation in the air. I've seen it enough times to play my own English voiceover to the conversation that I can't fully decipher - "What did you touch here on the screen?" ... "Nothing, dude. I didn't touch nothing. This stupid P.O.S. just quit working, bro."
I call the machine OEM's 24hr service line and am graced by the voice of the first intelligent person I've interfaced with all night. He walks me through the various screens, with my operator there as we go to enter passwords that he isn't supposed to know, telling me the typical values that should be in the hundred-something various fields. Every time we encountered a non-standard value, the operator was questioned and he either didn't know how that value got there, or said that the existing value (that he now admits to entering, despite previously stating that he hadn't touched anything at all) is correct and that the value that the OEM is instructing me to enter is incorrect (I entered the "incorrect" value anyway).
So I get all the correct values in, and whadd'ya know, it works! 8 hours of overtime for something that should have been sorted out by a supervisor before maintenance ever got involved. And then the night shift maintenance guy, being friends with both the idiot maintenance guy and the idiot operator, asks me in a hushed voice if I can lie on my Field Service Report and say that I found some burnt components or something, so that the other two don't get in trouble. I told him "I won't lie, but I'd be happy to word things in such a technical way that a bean counter will be too ignorant to assign blame" - after all, I need these idiots to stay right where they are. Good for repeat business, ya know.
Here's an example, from Saturday:
Idiot production supervisor gives idiot operator the passcode for high level parameter access screen on a wire drawing line. Idiot operator does exactly what you would expect an idiot operator to do with that information. Production line comes to a grinding halt. In lieu of proper troubleshooting (including interrogating the operator), Idiot maintenance guy frantically starts replacing sensors and actuators in what he perceives to be the affected area. Nearing the end of his shift and he still hasn't got the line running, idiot maintenance guy calls me in, and times his call so that I arrive 5 minutes after he and the idiot operator have left for the night.
So I have no first-person witnesses to interrogate. I go look for clues and due to the amount of dust settled on this machinery, I can clearly identify a few places where idiot maintenance guy has been. I inspect all the squeaky-clean looking sensors and find some of them are the wrong P/N (0-10mA transducers where there should be 4-20mA sensors). I open up the panels and covers where I see his hand smudges and find that the incorrect parts he replaced, he wired backwards. I correct everything I found so far; basically undoing everything the maintenance guy did, but still no dice.
I talk to the night shift supervisor and tell him I need to speak to the idiots that were involved in the previous shift. Idiot maintenance guy can't be reached, but idiot operator is brought in. He can't speak English, and my idiot translator doesn't seem to understand the role of a translator - that is, to ask the operator exactly what I asked, and tell me exactly the operator said. I know enough Spanish to know that I have an ineffective translator. He seems to think that exercising artistic license with my questions is a good idea; asking things vaguely related to what I asked, but with totally different implications. But my perception from observing the interaction between the operator and the translator is that, as expected, the operator is putting up a wall because he senses an cloud of accusation in the air. I've seen it enough times to play my own English voiceover to the conversation that I can't fully decipher - "What did you touch here on the screen?" ... "Nothing, dude. I didn't touch nothing. This stupid P.O.S. just quit working, bro."
I call the machine OEM's 24hr service line and am graced by the voice of the first intelligent person I've interfaced with all night. He walks me through the various screens, with my operator there as we go to enter passwords that he isn't supposed to know, telling me the typical values that should be in the hundred-something various fields. Every time we encountered a non-standard value, the operator was questioned and he either didn't know how that value got there, or said that the existing value (that he now admits to entering, despite previously stating that he hadn't touched anything at all) is correct and that the value that the OEM is instructing me to enter is incorrect (I entered the "incorrect" value anyway).
So I get all the correct values in, and whadd'ya know, it works! 8 hours of overtime for something that should have been sorted out by a supervisor before maintenance ever got involved. And then the night shift maintenance guy, being friends with both the idiot maintenance guy and the idiot operator, asks me in a hushed voice if I can lie on my Field Service Report and say that I found some burnt components or something, so that the other two don't get in trouble. I told him "I won't lie, but I'd be happy to word things in such a technical way that a bean counter will be too ignorant to assign blame" - after all, I need these idiots to stay right where they are. Good for repeat business, ya know.