I performed three miracles today...

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by joeyd999, Jun 9, 2016.

  1. joeyd999

    Thread Starter AAC Fanatic!

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    ...anyone know where I go to apply for sainthood?
     
  2. GopherT

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    What kind of attitude is that? Do you think Pope JPII or Mother Theressa were standing in line, waiting for their halos? Somebody will notice, some years after you are dead. If you want to check if your clients think you deserve a halo, raise your rates and your halo-worthiness will be proven by their loyalty.
     
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  3. MaxHeadRoom

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    Sorry, It is normally considered a way to corrupt a saintly life by granting a person official living sainthood status.
    It normally takes 5 years after passing, but we can make a notation.:p
    Max.
     
  4. joeyd999

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    My avatar should be proof enough that I've been dead at least five years. If further proof is required, I guess I could bring myself to vote Democrat.

    What else do I need for the application?
     
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  5. GopherT

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    A healthier lifestyle. I'm not sure St. Peter will even let you through the pearly gates with those teeth. You need teeth like these or better...


    image.jpg
     
  6. MaxHeadRoom

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    But then you would need to apply for a change in your avatar name (Ste Joey999), lots of paper work.:rolleyes:
    Max.
     
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  7. shortbus

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    Didn't know there was sainthood for atheist's?
     
  8. jpanhalt

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    This is JP the 1ST. You have been beatified.

    JP, I
     
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  9. joeyd999

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    For atheist's what?
     
  10. atferrari

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    Hola Joey,

    Besides that minimum in the waiting list, to have a chance of reaching the top of the podium, make sure that whoever takes your case has a clear idea of procedures. Just Googling could be confusing to say the least:

    Steps for Joey.png

    Good luck. See you at the other side.
     
  11. crutschow

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    No need.
    To vote for the presumptive Republican presidential nominee should also be considered a miracle. ;)
     
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  12. jpanhalt

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    Are you saying it is a once in a lifetime opportunity?

    John
     
  13. crutschow

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    Hopefully. :eek:
     
  14. joeyd999

    Thread Starter AAC Fanatic!

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    I've just performed my fourth miracle in 2 days.

    Canonization just doesn't seem adequate.
     
  15. Aleph(0)

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    I want to answer that but I can't cuz I'd get banned for political humor:D
     
  16. GopherT

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    Not such an incredible feat. Dead people have voted in most Chicago elections since the 1920s.
     
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  17. shortbus

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    Haven't you claimed to be one? Doing these things for others aren't you afraid of getting kicked out of the Ayn Rand fan club?
     
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  18. GopherT

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    I think she shouldn't even be allowed into her own fan club. She didn't want to be cremated like most good atheists. She has a nice little grave in NY. I guess, she was hedging. I don't question her hedge. I just question her followers.
     
  19. joeyd999

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    I was attempting to humorously point out your punctuation error. But, never mind.
     
  20. wayneh

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    And we still have no evidence?
     
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