Friend Requests

Discussion in 'Feedback and Suggestions' started by Wendy, May 10, 2010.

  1. Wendy

    Thread Starter Moderator

    Mar 24, 2008
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    I get Friend Requests (aka Contacts) pretty often, occasionally from folks who have never posted on this site.

    I used to try to PM them to tell them how my personal criteria works, but a lot of them don't have PM turned on. Besides, it takes time to write a monologue.

    I won't reject a friend request for someone who is still active, who has been on for at least a month, but I won't accept anyone who hasn't been here for at least 3 months.

    If you are pending (I have 3 so far) I'm just waiting to see if you continue to hang around, or are a hit and run visitor.

    The idea of friends for me is one of mutual respect. There are a few here whom I wouldn't accept or make an offer, but that could change as we interact. I will reject a Friend Request by someone who is inactive or just passing by. Many cases they are just wanting to see how it works, being new to VBulletin.

    One of the reasons I'm writing this is to have a place to point to when the new friends request comes in.
     
  2. eblc1388

    Senior Member

    Nov 28, 2008
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    I really don't understand how the forum "Friends" idea works, except that I have experienced posts with images in a post that cannot be seen by other members unless they are friends of the OPs.

    I get extremely annoyed when seeing a public forum post with images that is invisible to everyone else except they are "friends" to the OP. If they have attached the images like everyone else then this situation will not occur.

    This is counter productive to the spirit of a public forum. Sadly the OP that do so will be added to my ignore list promptly.
     
  3. retched

    AAC Fanatic!

    Dec 5, 2009
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    Does this mean you dont want to be friends?

    FINE! You LOSE!
    You dont get to see pictures of my lawn dart competition!

    ;)

    I think it is a roll off from facebook - and other social friend sites.

    I do not use these sites, so I do not know the ins and outs of them, but I would assume It is for doing things like Riffa mentioned before.

    Having a Friends only blog or an entertainment thread that keeps any public eyes or children away from the badness that can be the in-tro-net.

    Also I suppose it shows "street cred" on this virtual highway.

    I have yet to look into the possibilities of friend-related stuff on forum software, I suppose it may have a use, but It seems to privatize the public-ness of the forum.
     
  4. Wendy

    Thread Starter Moderator

    Mar 24, 2008
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    While it isn't a peeve, I am puzzled that images can't be seen by unregistered folks, it would attract them in I suspect.

    I don't plan on using the friend only image features, the more the merrier. Other than my old dog post and my profile I haven't posted anything other than electronics.

    And my pending count just jumped to 4. :rolleyes:
     
  5. retched

    AAC Fanatic!

    Dec 5, 2009
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    Your post probably caused people to discover the friend option.

    They say: "WOW, this has friends just like myFace! Maybe if Im friends with bill_marsden, he will answer my questions faster and others will think we hang out and drink sasparillas"

    So, wanna get a sassparilla sometime?


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarsaparilla
     
  6. Wendy

    Thread Starter Moderator

    Mar 24, 2008
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    Heh, I've had sarsaparilla. Have you?

    If he read my post he didn't read too deeply, for now there are 4 people pending until next month, where 3 of them meet the 3 month limit.
     
  7. Wendy

    Thread Starter Moderator

    Mar 24, 2008
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    A thought for a feature occurred to me. Now and then we get swamped with PMs asking for individual help (end of school year?). Wookie turns off his PM and email when that happens. If we could turn off only those who aren't on the contact list it might help.

    For any new person reading this, proper etiquette is to use PM to point to the public post where you are asking for help. You will usually find we honor personal requests in that format.
     
  8. retched

    AAC Fanatic!

    Dec 5, 2009
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    You would think there would be an option to only accept PM and/or EMail from friends/contacts. That seems to make the most sense.

    Also, I would like an 'Invisible to all but friends' - mode.

    Well thats why its open source. ;)
     
  9. R!f@@

    AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 2, 2009
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    I like that too, glad I am not in the ignore list ;)
     
  10. Ron H

    AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 14, 2005
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    This isn't a reply, but it is on topic, so I'll post it here.
    I got a notification for a friend request. When I clicked on it, I saw a "list" of existing friends. There was no request that I could see.
    What's up with that?
     
  11. Wendy

    Thread Starter Moderator

    Mar 24, 2008
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    At the bottom of that page you should have seen a friend request. You click the new (potential) friend's box, then select "Accept" or "Reject". The reject does not disable it, it just means you have turned it down at that time.

    I've had friendship requests refused. No big deal, but they stay on my list of contacts. This can be very handy is you are trying to look someone up whom you know has expertise (or an off site link) for something you need.
     
  12. Ron H

    AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 14, 2005
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    There was no friend request. Damn strange.
    What are the consequences of defriending someone? Will they be notified? I have "friends" that I don't know, and don't remember seeing on the forum.
     
  13. Wendy

    Thread Starter Moderator

    Mar 24, 2008
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    None, that I know of. Hurt feeling probably, but with the amount of hit and runs I doubt they would even notice.

    The VB may notify them, but since I've never done it....
     
  14. Ron H

    AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 14, 2005
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    I just pruned my friends tree. The list went from 24 to 8.:eek:
     
  15. Wendy

    Thread Starter Moderator

    Mar 24, 2008
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    Did you clean up the pile of broken friendships all over the floor? Must be tidy after all.
     
  16. Georacer

    Moderator

    Nov 25, 2009
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    Maybe the request was retrieved before you could accept or deny it.
     
  17. studiot

    AAC Fanatic!

    Nov 9, 2007
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    I really don't see the benefit of a 'friends' option in this type of forum.

    More to the point I have no idea how to use such a system. I know I have a wadge of requests cluttering up my notifications that I would love to clear but I don't want to offend anyone by refusing and I see no other way to do this, except writing a PM to them explaining that I don't respond to incoming friends requests, which is rather time confusing and rather defeats the object.

    I have never come across any pictures here ( or any Vbulletin forum) I could not see by not being someone's friend. Does that happen here?
     
  18. Georacer

    Moderator

    Nov 25, 2009
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    I think I have made my album friend-visible. In general I decline unknown friend requests, sometimes responding, sometimes not.
     
  19. Ron H

    AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 14, 2005
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    Nor do I. I was just accepting friends because I couldn't see any harm - still don't.
    I just wanted to clean up the page by getting rid of the one-post wonders, etc.
     
  20. #12

    Expert

    Nov 30, 2010
    16,278
    6,790
    Referring to post #4

    I also find it annoying that I have to log in to see .png's and such.
    I wish that feature did not exist. It would be easier to cruise through the latest posts and decide whether to log in when I see something I know the answer to.

    Please count this 2 cents worth if you Mods ever consider changing this aspect of the site.
     
    Last edited: Mar 18, 2012
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