Do You Have a Good Preacher Man Story

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by loosewire, Jun 7, 2010.

  1. loosewire

    Thread Starter AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 25, 2008
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    Do you have personal story with a preacher Man.
     
  2. VoodooMojo

    Active Member

    Nov 28, 2009
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    So this preacher goes to this used parrot store to buy a pet. The store owner tells him he only has one left, but he probably wouldn't be interested because the previous owner used foul language. The preacher decides to go ahead and give the parrot a chance.

    He comes home and the parrot starts cursing. The preacher looks at the parrot and says "this has got to stop, you're going in the freezer", and he places the parrot in the freezer for 5 min.

    He takes the parrot out and the parrot asks him "so what did the chicken do?"..........
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2010
  3. loosewire

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    Not a real story,but very funny.
     
  4. Blackbull

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    Jul 26, 2008
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    This may not count but, when taking a long journey a lady of Asian appearance sat next to me, although she was wearing Western clothes. To make conversation I asked her if she was a Hindu. She replied that she had been but had converted to Christianity. Asking her why she said that her brother had a work colleague who was a Christian and he had been discussing with him the sorrow caused by his wife not being able to have children. His Christian colleague said that he should ask Jesus about that since Jesus was in charge of that sort of thing. He did; a few months later his wife became pregnant, and unfortunately the child was born with a hole in the head.
    The doctors said that they could operate on the child but there was only a fifty-fifty chance that the child would survive. The brother was having none of this and would not allow them to operate; the child was between him and Jesus. When the child was nine months old, they got her out of bed one morning, the hole had gone. The woman said that was why she no longer worshiped stone gods but worshiped a living God who can perform miracles.
    I know nothing about the child’s condition, she must have, she was a nurse.
     
  5. Ron H

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    Apr 14, 2005
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    An old Brother Dave Gardner story goes something like this:
    A southern preacher was driving down the road one day when he came up behind a car that was weaving all over the road. In a loud voice he says, "That poor soul, he must be ill!". To himself he says, "I better get on around this drunk before he runs me off the road".
    As he pulls out to pass, he hits a slick spot, spins out, and winds up upside down in the ditch in a cloud of dust. Unhurt except for a few bruises, he crawls out where the back window used to be. As he's dusting himself off, the drunk staggers up to him. "Unnhh, y'all right, rev'rend?" In his most righteous voice, the preacher says "Yes, thank you, the Lord's riding with me!"

    "Well, yuh better let 'im ride with me before yuh kill 'im!"
     
  6. maxpower097

    Well-Known Member

    Feb 20, 2009
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    My best story was when I was living in Pasco county FL where you can't buy Alchohol till 9am on Sun. Well to get by that rule the fish and bait stores sell beer at 5am on Sun and they place it in your car for some loophole. Well I was getting some bait one sunday and got in line. 8 people in the store, 3 were fishermen heading offshore to fish and 4 were preachers heading to sunday service.
     
  7. retched

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    Dec 5, 2009
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    Drunkenness is close to godliness?
     
  8. VoodooMojo

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    You never heard of Transubstantiation?
     
  9. retched

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    Duh, I reverse-Transubstantiate as often as I can.

    Well at least the blood into wine thing. ;)
     
  10. Ron H

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    Ummm, I think reverse-Transubstantiation would be converting wine into water (non-potable), which I do on occasion.:D
     
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2010
  11. Markd77

    Senior Member

    Sep 7, 2009
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    Excellent, preachers breaking a law (or using loopholes around it) that the church worked hard to bring in.
    We have the same dumb laws over here and "24 hour supermarkets" have to close at midnight on Saturday, reopen at 10am, close at 4pm, then open at midnight Sunday then stay open all the way through.
    This is in a country where less than 10% go to church every Sunday.
     
  12. R!f@@

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    Apr 2, 2009
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    then why do you believe in them. this is what I don't understand
     
  13. Markd77

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    Sep 7, 2009
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    I don't believe in them, I'm an atheist and I respect people who don't want to work on Sundays because of their beliefs.
    On the other hand, there are plenty of people who are willing to work on Sundays and plenty more who want to go shopping.
     
  14. R!f@@

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    Apr 2, 2009
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    Like Sundays for u, we have Fridays. I do not work on Friday's till 1200Hrs. No matter what.
    It has always been a bad sign for me, what ever I do never goes right if I do it at that time. So Friday mornings are for house hold work, or pulling pranks on family members and prayer times. but sometimes they are dedicated to AAC.
     
  15. retched

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    Thats right. We are all members of the Church of AAC.

    Sundays are for worship. ;) As well as Monday through Saturday ;)
     
  16. VoodooMojo

    Active Member

    Nov 28, 2009
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    yes,
    mass will be held on top the grid dip oscillator,
    the Reverend Loosewire will officiate.
     
  17. R!f@@

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    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
     
  18. loosewire

    Thread Starter AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 25, 2008
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    Shall We gather At the River- Rock of Ages-
    Sunday morning Coming Down-
    Old Red River Valley
    A Symbol Of Peace--Respect
     
  19. thatoneguy

    AAC Fanatic!

    Feb 19, 2009
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    You left out "Preacher Man" from the Pulp Fiction Soundtrack. :D
     
  20. VoodooMojo

    Active Member

    Nov 28, 2009
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    If I had Possession over Judgement Day

    or



    Me and the Devil
    was walkin' side by side
    Me and the Devil, ooh
    was walkin' side by side
    And I'm goin' to beat my woman
    until I get satisfied
     
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