Decided to give her a second chance (sorry for the new thread)

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by dMoser, Feb 27, 2012.

  1. dMoser

    Thread Starter Member

    Aug 25, 2011
    30
    1
    Hi,

    I opened a new thread because I wanted to hear your opinions (I'm sorry if it was wrong to do so).
    As I told you there, I really appreciate all of your honest comments in the other thread.

    --
    The story was that a week ago, on Sunday evening, she called me and told me she was at someone's place and they were kissing, and said how sorry she was.
    We've been dating for a month before that call took place, and met each other once a weekend due to my exams vacation (which was hard for her than it was for me).
    Her kissing another guy, and still visiting the dating website even after she asked us to change our status to 'in relationship', brought me to end the relationship and not making a fresh start.
    --

    Since that Sunday, I kept thinking on how comfortable I felt with her and how much we have in common, 2 things which I didn’t find in most of the women I dated.

    Today, I couldn't hold myself anymore, I called her and we decided to give it a second chance.

    I'll do my best to fully trust her (it’s not gonna be that easy), and put everything behind and really make a fresh start.

    I Hope it'll work out well for us.

    Thanks again for giving me your shoulder.
     
  2. maxpower097

    Well-Known Member

    Feb 20, 2009
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    Do yourself a favor and look for coupons on GPS loggers. That will show you real quick if she's serious, or just wants boys on the side. GL
     
  3. dMoser

    Thread Starter Member

    Aug 25, 2011
    30
    1
    Hi,
    I'm sorry I didn't get what you said.
    What do you mean?
     
  4. maxpower097

    Well-Known Member

    Feb 20, 2009
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    Just joking with you to get a cheapo $40 GPS logger. Put it on her car under the bumper. Grab it a week later and it will show you to the foot where her car has been. It takes a GPS reading every 20 seconds. That way you'll know if she's going to her other mans house when she's supposed to be at work etc.... G.W Bush once said, "Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."
     
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  5. steveb

    Senior Member

    Jul 3, 2008
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    I wish you the best of luck and hope it works out well too. Only time will tell if you made the right choice. You are taking the riskier path in terms of grief you may suffer, but it's a risk reward scenario, and you may discover great rewards and no regrets.

    Given that you felt you had to give it a try, it's clear that the regret you would have in not giving her a chance, is worse than the pain you will feel in the worst case outcome.
     
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  6. praondevou

    AAC Fanatic!

    Jul 9, 2011
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    Good you said you were joking ;) That would be a VERY bad start for a relationship.

    Good Luck dMoser.
     
  7. Brownout

    Well-Known Member

    Jan 10, 2012
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    How do you know she's still visiting the dating website?
     
  8. dMoser

    Thread Starter Member

    Aug 25, 2011
    30
    1
    Thanks guys.
    maxpower -
    Got you :) funny!

    Steve -
    Thanks.
    I want to give it a second chance because I rarely find a women that I have so much in common with her, and that we're both attracted to each other and feel comfortable around each other.

    Brownout
    I had the suspicion that she kept visiting these websites because she kept adding male friends to her facebook, so I checked her profile and saw she's logging into there.


    Is it wrong giving someone who cheated on you a second chance?
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2012
  9. nerdegutta

    Moderator

    Dec 15, 2009
    2,519
    786
    No, I don't think it is wrong.

    Forgive, forget and move on.

    My GF was at a Christmasparty with her colleagues one year. The day after she told me that she had kissed one guy... and I go "ok". Then she told me that she kissed a girl too... and I go "Nice!"

    In the start of our relationship I was very clear on what I think is cheating and what I mean about respect and boundaries.

    We had separate apartments for two years, before she moved in with me.
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2012
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  10. THE_RB

    AAC Fanatic!

    Feb 11, 2008
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    Well if I read the other thread right then SHE started it (the bad behaviour).

    If your dog viciously bites someone once, and you decide to give it another chance and keep it, then putting the dog on a chain (at least until it proves itself) might be wise.

    Personally I never forget or forgive someone who has betrayed me. I can forgive mistakes and messups, but deliberately planning to betray me and then systematically carrying out that plan is unforgivable.
     
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  11. maxpower097

    Well-Known Member

    Feb 20, 2009
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    I was joking for him, for me down here where its 9/10 gold diggers its pretty standard. I also run background checks on the ladies I run with. Some of the crap I've seen would blow your mind. Heres a great for instance story. We meet girl at bar, she's 20 or 21 pretty young. We have a younger friend in his early 20's so we hook em up. Its a huge hit and he basically moves right in and there in heaven for 2 months. Then were all hanging out drinking like we used to do and playing on the net. All the sudden one of my other friends gets this look on his face. We see the same girl in a new article about getting arrested with her ex boyfriend from ohio. She had 2 kids and he had 1. When they moved to FL they locked their kids in the closet for 9 months. She got probation he got a couple years. We had no idea and had to show him the article to prove to him it was the same girl.

    Example number 2. MY friends desprately in love and dating a slutty girl. Were all looking on the web for money making opportunities and we found her on one of those pron sites. So while she's having a kid with my friend and playing the nice reformed girl, shes shooting X rated movies on the side.


    Loosie you need to come a lil north so we can party.
     
  12. maxpower097

    Well-Known Member

    Feb 20, 2009
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    Agreed.... I'm in your boat. To many really nice girls out there to waste your time on a playa! And remember kiddies! We have a saying in these parts! "Playa's get played, pimps get paid!" Remember that and you'll be all right.
     
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  13. shortbus

    AAC Fanatic!

    Sep 30, 2009
    4,019
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    I guess I should share my story. While not the same because we were married for 11 years.

    I was the cheater! Wife was only girl I was ever with, thought I missed some thing. Got involved with a girl at work, wife found out and we divorced. What a mistake!

    After 33 years of both of us being miserable guess what? Were getting back together! Things when married were great I'm the one that screwed it up, but after the first time of seeing her again, things are just like they were. The whole time we were apart I could NEVER find that connection I had with her. You can never forget you just have to forgive.
     
  14. Georacer

    Moderator

    Nov 25, 2009
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    Uh... does that promote unemotional relations and precalculated decisions between the couple?
     
  15. DerStrom8

    Well-Known Member

    Feb 20, 2011
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    From what I gathered, you two haven't been able to see each other very often over the time you've been "dating". In my experience, girls want attention from a guy more often than that. They can't seem to go more than a week or so away from their boyfriend. My advice: Try to work it out so that you two can see each other more frequently--maybe twice a week or so. Show her that you're willing to be there for her, and that she doesn't need to go looking for attention from another guy.

    I was tempted to post this on your original thread--that you try it one more time, with a mutual understanding that if either of you cheated on the other again, it would be over. But you decided to let her go before I could post it. Personally, I'm glad you chose to give her a second chance, but you both need to be careful. As I said, try to take her out more frequently. See how things go.

    Regards,
    Der Strom
     
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  16. steveb

    Senior Member

    Jul 3, 2008
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    Absolutely not. It is just the opposite. Despite the fact that not giving a second chance is not wrong, it is not wrong to give a second chance. It is good. - Risky, but good. Not always in your best interest, but always good.

    Taking risks and facing fears to achieve something good is the definition of bravery. All brave acts require a proper mix of stupidity and optimism as key ingredients. There is nothing wrong with this, as long as the risks are considered and understood.

    It is correct for your friends to warn you away from being brave. Friends want to protect your back and keep you out of pain. But, once you decide to be brave, your friends take a different point of view. If your choice leads to failure, we'll applaud your bravery. If your choice leads to success, we'll applaud your good foresight.
     
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  17. GetDeviceInfo

    Senior Member

    Jun 7, 2009
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    my only advice is to make sure she has a clean bill of health.
     
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  18. maxpower097

    Well-Known Member

    Feb 20, 2009
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    GetDeviceInfo gets the post of the thread award. +1
     
  19. R!f@@

    AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 2, 2009
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    :D
    I don't sympathize and I tend to be direct. Don't think I am being rude.
    for what about I am going to say.

    You are Impatient. You want a girl real bad.
    You telling us about her and hiding what u feel is not good.

    LET HER GO OR YOU WILL BE SORRY.

    I got nothing more to say.
     
    maxpower097 likes this.
  20. Brownout

    Well-Known Member

    Jan 10, 2012
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    That's gold, steveb, gold!
     
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