A Christmas present for Ratch

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by studiot, Dec 3, 2008.

  1. studiot

    Thread Starter AAC Fanatic!

    Nov 9, 2007
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    I thought we could all collect a compendium of odds, bobs, misnomers and words taken out of context.

    We could then replace all the bad jokes in our Christmas crackers with these and have a good laugh this year.

    So to kick off

    My local disco illuminates their dancefloor with 'blacklight bulbs'

    Has anyone seen an open circuit? Is this not a contradiction in terms?
     
  2. jpanhalt

    AAC Fanatic!

    Jan 18, 2008
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    Are pull-up and pull-down resistors fare?

    John
     
  3. beenthere

    Retired Moderator

    Apr 20, 2004
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    I always liked bathtub and doorknob capacitors. Top hat diodes.
     
  4. Ratch

    New Member

    Mar 20, 2007
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  5. KL7AJ

    AAC Fanatic!

    Nov 4, 2008
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    Outductance: What comes out the bottom end of an inductor.

    Ground bus: Aren't they all?

    Transbrother: Complement of a transistor.

    Complementary/symmetry: Brown-nosers on both sides.

    Foster-Seely Includer: Politically correct FM detector.

    Demodulator: What comes after de R.F. amplifier.

    Jack: What you plug into a Jill

    Infinite Baffle: Trying to figure out Laplace Transforms

    Triode: Bad attempt at poetry

    Semiconductor: Hi falutin' truck driver

    CMOS: What happens when you forget to clean your aquarium

    Frequency: Quency you don't have to pay for.
     
  6. Wendy

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    Mar 24, 2008
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    On second thought, I'll pass on this one.
     
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2008
  7. hgmjr

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    Jan 28, 2005
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    What about toggle switches for recalcitrant toggles.

    hgmjr
     
  8. loosewire

    AAC Fanatic!

    Apr 25, 2008
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    seliniin recterfer square pi. sine waveing MERRY CHRISTMAS to All
     
  9. leftyretro

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    Nov 25, 2008
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    semiconductors, for those that just can't make up thier minds.
     
  10. Wendy

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    I thought they were almost good enough for an orchestra!
     
  11. jpanhalt

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    Now a question for you: If you want to get rid of hysteresis, which is better, a hysterectomy or a divorce?

    John
     
  12. thingmaker3

    Retired Moderator

    May 16, 2005
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    Where can I find some mortar for my IGBT bricks?

    How many millimeters of band-width do I need for a ring?

    If resistance is futile, conductance is fruitful.

    To calculate the transfer function of a transistor transconductance in series with a transformer, would I have to go into a trance?

    If I unwind a transformer, am I a trans-unformer?
     
  13. floomdoggle

    Senior Member

    Sep 1, 2008
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    On the first day of Christmas I gave to Ratch: a dictionary.
    Sung to the tune 12 Days of Christmas.
    Anyone else?
     
  14. Ratch

    New Member

    Mar 20, 2007
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    floomdoggle,

    Pretty lame. Can anyone else help him out.

    Ratch
     
  15. studiot

    Thread Starter AAC Fanatic!

    Nov 9, 2007
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    Yes we all want to enjoy this thread, including Ratch who bespake many wise utterings in this forum including pointing out the incongruity of phrases like AC current...

    There are enough good non-personal jokes about.
     
  16. Wendy

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    Mar 24, 2008
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    Being able to laugh at yourself is a good thing, Lord knows I've done my share of boners. Mine tends to be "The Simpson's" moments, DOH!

    Did you know caps make good stink bombs?
     
  17. thingmaker3

    Retired Moderator

    May 16, 2005
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    On the first day of Christmas, my EE gave to me:
    An inrush current through a diode tree.

    On the second day of Christmas, my EE gave to me:
    Two current paths,
    And an inrush current through a diode tree.

    On the third day of Christmas, my EE gave to me:
    Three state logic,
    Two current paths,
    And an inrush current through a diode tree.

    On the fourth day of Christmas, my EE gave to me:
    Four tetrode tubes,
    Three state logic,
    Two current paths,
    And an inrush current through a diode tree.

    On the fifth day of Christmas, my EE gave to me:
    FIVE TOKEN RINGS!
    Four tetrode tubes,
    Three state logic,
    Two current paths,
    And an inrush current through a diode tree.
     
  18. beenthere

    Retired Moderator

    Apr 20, 2004
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    Six carpals tunneling,
    Seven heptodes oscillating,
    Eight octals socketing,
    Nine RGB pins a pinning,
    Ten binary coded decimals,
    Eleven 3PDT relays clacking,
    Twelve positions rotating.
     
  19. floomdoggle

    Senior Member

    Sep 1, 2008
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    Ratch,
    Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. You see, you got your wish. Your present from AAC. You now have a song about you. (However, carpal tunnels is odd.)
    And to you and all of yours, a very merry Christmas.
    And to all of AAC, Merry Christmas. To our non-Christmassy friends, be merry on this season, and carry this feeling on toward the rest of the year.
    As always, thanks for having me. It is appreciated.
    Dan
     
  20. Ratch

    New Member

    Mar 20, 2007
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    floomdoggle,

    My name is not Virgina.

    Not a song, a thread. My name is not mentioned in the song. Do you know what a carpal tunnel is?

    Bah! Humbug!

    Ratch
     
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